Posted on by Belinda O

Believe in Me Before I Fade Away

Years ago my friend Lois told me she looked at other people and felt inferior to them because they all seemed to have it all together. She listed one quality or another each of them had she felt she didn’t have.

She left out a few qualities on her list. Those she had, and many others don’t, that made her a wonderful friend.

Being Outsider

It was the first time I realized how easy it is for each of us to take for granted our own uniqueness, what sets us apart from the crowd, or worse yet, to believe that those things you think make you weird, unlovable. Paired with the feeling of being on the outside looking in is the belief you fade away because of your lack of a certain level of “specialness.”

In a world where we often stand alone rather than cry out “I’m lonely!” to those near us, it can take a long time to realize that together with an offbeat sense of humor or appreciation of horror shows may be a deep sense of compassion, empathy and sensitivity to the lost and lonely. The tendency to lend a hand to someone who tripped and fell.

No one is more sensitive to the plight of the downtrodden than the one who’s been there. I was in a situation I never expected to be in a few years ago, where I was frightened, somewhat in shock and forced to make decisions inconsistent with the life I’d been living.

The men and women I met during that time have my heart now, and whatever I can do to help them, I will. Granted, it isn’t much, and sometimes I need to keep quiet or my emotions get in the way of the logic and reason of statements I make on their behalf.

I’ve learned to intercede in other ways. I could have come out of that time feeling like mud mixed with slime, sticking to the bottom of everyone’s shoe, but instead I feel more whole today than I ever have. A lot of that has to do with those who believed in me, regardless of what anyone else may have said or done.

A lot of it has to do with choosing to believe in myself.

I think eventually Lois realized her own worth, although much to my regret I’ve been out of contact with her for years now. I hope anyone who thinks everyone else “has it all” is given a friend who will bless them with a list of their unique combination of qualities that sets them apart.

You have them.

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17 Replies to “Believe in Me Before I Fade Away”

  1. We learn from Scripture suffering is allowed so we can, upon surviving it, turn around and lift up others currently suffering. We cannot appreciate good times without the bad. Indeed, many look like they have it all together. I don’t think anyone does. Some hide their baggage and troubles and worries better than others. But we’re all in this life thing together and we all have life issues. Some more than others, but to me no one goes untouched by life’s challenges. That is my belief…and I try to always look out for those suffering and assist them the very best I can.

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    1. It was a real revelation to me when I talked to Lois. It was like she saw herself as a baseline for all people, that everyone had the same qualities she had, and then some, when in fact that wasn’t true at all. Since then I’ve learned to appreciate what sets me and others apart from the crowd, or even the individual sitting next to me in church. We are all special, and we all deserve to know it.

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  3. I had the same sentiments when I was younger, way younger 🙂 But I was very blessed to have a family that backs me up all the time and believe that I am capable of achieving the things that I want to be or want to do. Sometimes all we need is affirmation from the people we truly care about to see what they see in us 🙂 Thanks for sharing this ❤

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  4. This is a beautifully written post. I agree that we should embrace our uniqueness. Self-compassion is important too. Allowing ourselves to not need to be what society says is perfect. We should understand that we are all perfect in our own unique ways. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you! I agree our uniqueness is our perfection, and changing that tampers with the perfect. Not that we’re truly perfect, we are flawed, but that’s part of our beauty, too, part of what brings others into our lives.

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  7. Pingback: You are Wonderful in Your Own Way. | Silver Lining

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