My neighbor died today. Her granddaughter found her on the floor at home, apparently dead of a heart attack.
Her little dog was frantic, as you might imagine, and the granddaughter is taking the pup home for now. She told me she hopes one of her cousins will take him in as she’s due any day with her first child and doesn’t need the additional burden.
This lady was nice, with a wry sense of humor and countless grandchildren who took advantage of her. The police were at the apartment keeping them out; they all insisted they had things they owned in that apartment, and likely some did, but at this point under the law it all belongs to her and her estate.
I suppose the police would need to wait for the locks to be changed, because you can bet those kids all had keys. This wasn’t an entirely bad group, but one or two were pretty awful. One young man came to my door early on asking for the passcode to my wireless account. When I refused to give it to him, he broke into my apartment and got it off of the wireless box. Of course I changed the passcode and now he’s in jail for breaking & entering as well as felony theft. In my state, you serve time for theft of services.
Now, mine wasn’t the only apartment he broke into; I didn’t report the crime until the police came to me. And I shouldn’t say he broke in, although legally it was B&E. I’d left the door unlocked when I went to get my mail and he ran in then. Creepy. I lock the door now even when I take the garbage out.
But I don’t hold it against my late neighbor. I liked her. She did her best and I know she was struggling financially, or she wouldn’t have been living in these apartments. She didn’t own a car, in fact, she maybe didn’t even drive. She was disabled and couldn’t walk in a straight line very well because of the way her body was twisted. I’m not sure her vision was very good, either.
It’s funny the impact virtual strangers have on your life. I don’t know this lady’s name and I never had much of a conversation with her, but I appreciated her as a neighbor. She was kind and courteous. She loved her grandchildren, and despite what I’ve said so far I’m sure most of them are good people, young, perhaps, and a little thoughtless, but they will miss her. The granddaughter I saw today certainly seemed genuinely upset.
We wonder about the impact we have on others’ lives, and it can be as simple as being a good neighbor. Earlier this week I was walking into the grocery store and smiled at a woman approaching from a different direction. She smiled back, a genuine, friendly smile that made feel good. I’d been having a difficult day. It made a difference.
“Thank you for smiling!” I told her.
“And thank you for smiling, too!” she said back cheerily. I felt good the rest of the day. That woman is important to me in that small way.
If ever you are feeling unimportant, if ever you wonder your value in life, it is there. It is in the small things and the grand, for life is made of all those things.
But mostly the everyday things.
Image Credits: (Leaves) © milavas — Fotolia; (Smileys) © Stuart Miles — Fotolia
I think we are impacted all day in small ways and sometimes in big ways. It is why our actions no matter how small and our words no matter how insignificant they may be to us, can carry a lot of weight with someone else. I am sorry your neighbor died alone. The idea of dying alone seems so sad to me and I hope I am not alone when my time comes. She was lucky you were her neighbor.
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Dede, thank you for your wise words. I absolutely agree with you. As for my neighbor dying alone, she may have been alone at that moment, but she had family visiting every day. It’s likely she died instantly. I’m not sure but she may have been sleeping. My point is she probably didn’t feel Alone when she died. I understand your fear, I think, of being alone at that moment. The loneliest moment ever, possibly.
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🙂
All the best.
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Thank you 🙂
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This is really such a beautiful post. I do think that kindness can have such a lasting effect – your neighbor lives on with your memories of her caring. I also believe that a genuine smile can light the way through darkness. I’ve somehow kept my smile through difficult times in my life; it was my guide.
As far as dying alone goes, she might have preferred it that way – even when surrounded by family, it has been documented many times that the patient will pass when they go out of the room. The important part was that she was cared about while she lived.
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Thank you, Judy. I agree with everything you say. And I hope if she was alone when she died (which she apparently was), that that was okay with her, and I do know she had plenty of family in her life everyday.
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Beautiful post. Hugs
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Thank you!!!! 🙂
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I caught up with this site. Didn’t comment but I read everything. Hugs
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Thank you 🙂 I appreciate your loyalty. 🙂 🙂
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I enjoy your blogs. I always have.
I am reminded of movies long forgotten.
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