A Cookie is Just a Cookie (but ten cookies is a little much)

Ah, dieting.

I’ve been trying to lose weight–just a small amount–for about a year and a half.  I’m no closer to my goal now than I was in the beginning. I even shelled out what for me was big bucks on an eating modification program (I’ve been told not to think of it as “dieting” but “eating modification” and while I can see the logic of that mentality, the bottom line is, eating modification is, for me, dieting). I lost three or four pounds right away and then–nothing. For the next three months, no more loss. So I gave up on that program.

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Curse you, Joe, for bringing in donuts! Now where’s the one with the chocolate sprinkles…
Since I don’t have much to lose, telling my friends I want to lose weight is typically not very well received, especially those friends who could afford to lose a bit more. My co-workers, too, are not particularly supportive, in more ways than one. Not only do they roll their eyes at my plight, but they are constantly bringing in food to share. In one case, one of the women bought milk shakes for all of us. Surprise! It was, excuse the pun, sweet of her. I not only couldn’t say no, I didn’t want to.

Not to put the blame on others. I could easily be better at modifying my food intake. I tend to overdo it with favorite foods (my current favorite? Quaker Oats Simply Granola), so much so that I’ll swear off of that food for a time, only to find something to take its place.

I should say here my doctor has recommended I lose some weight. He’s with me in that I don’t need to lose much, but he was definite in saying I need to lose some.

I know I stress eat. I know I eat when I’m bored. Given the amount of stress I’ve been under lately, I’m lucky I haven’t gained any more weight. Okay, I did gain back that three or four pounds I’d lost on the eating modification program. But, no more than that.

Weigh yourself every single dayHere’s the thing that’s so hard for me: as an adult, I’ve had little problem with my weight. In fact, for about ten years I was too thin and tried to gain weight, but to no avail. It was when I was a teenager that I had a problem, and in that time and place, few of my peers faced the same struggle. So being overweight was isolating and heightened the insecurities I already dealt with. Now, I’m tapping back into some of those same feelings, and it doesn’t feel good.

But I am an adult, and I have tools now that I didn’t have then. So tomorrow is another day. One day at a time. And all the other platitudes. I will lose this weight.


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7 Replies to “A Cookie is Just a Cookie (but ten cookies is a little much)”

  1. I completely related to what you wrote, Belinda. I think right now with the isolation, so many people are struggling with their weight. All the stress, and seeking food as a comfort has definitely affected me. I gained weight after my broken ankle with 3 months in a wheelchair and now even more. But I think we both realize it’s a determined mindset that makes it happen. The trick is finding that mindset!
    I do believe I’ll find it, but until then – I hope I can maintain where I am like you are. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, finding that mindset (and finding it again and again) is the trick–and apparently a difficult one. I think I remember you did it once before? Three months in a wheelchair would undo everything I’d achieved, had I achieved it…. We’ll get there.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. You can do it Belinda 🙂
    I’ve lost some weight since December (I never overeat over Christmas) because it’s essential for my health – to reduce the pain and increase mobility (physically disabled from injury). My weight got really bad because I’m unable to move much or walk far. Xo 🍏 🍎 🍌 🍓 💚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I worried about retiring and weight gain. Some co-workers returned to work for a celebration or two and their weight gain was pretty obvious. I didn’t want that to be me. And it’s not–I still weigh the same. But I swear it redistributes overnight! Good luck, Belinda. I wish losing were as easy (and quick!) as gaining.

    Liked by 1 person

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