Author: Belinda O

A year ago I was quite sure what I wanted to do when I retired, a date which is rapidly approaching. Today, I’m not so sure. My plans were to move back to my home state of Minnesota, where social services and conveniences such as buses are greater than they are where I live now.

But it’s scary–and expensive–to move. I’d be leaving all the friends I have here and returning to a place where I’ve lost contact with most of those I knew well. I’m not sure I want to brave the Minnesota weather. I’d have to find a new church, new doctor, new dentist, new hair stylist.

There are a myriad of other considerations, and sometimes at night I’m overwhelmed by all of it.

Change is scary. In the past I made moves like this frequently, and I don’t remember being that fazed by it. Perhaps because the new location always seemed much more appealing than where I had been living, or maybe because my choices were limited. It’s a lot easier to make the brave choice when common sense dictates it.

But change can be valuable. It can get you out of a rut and into a situation where you’re forced to make some positive decisions. In the event of a move, you can make new friends, perhaps lifelong friends.

I don’t have any idea what decision I’ll make, but I do know this: whatever my choice will be, I need to start making some smaller changes soon. And that’s proving difficult as well. So I need to find some ways to destress, and Oreos are not the answer. To any of this.

I don’t like not having the answers.

Image Credit: MarekPhotoDesign.com–stock.adobe.com

Last month, when I visited my dad, a good friend, Madlyn, took care of my cats. I told her to go through a box of books and DVDs that I planned to donate to a local charity, and was pleased when I returned to see she’d taken a good number of both.

However, when I saw her again a few weeks later, I mentioned how happy I was to see she’d taken the DVDs. She told me then her TV had gone dead and she had no way to play them. Another friend was there at the same time, and as we walked to our cars she pulled me aside and asked if I thought we should work toward getting Madlyn a new TV. We knew that even though it wouldn’t cost much, she didn’t have the money, and we figured we could get several friends to pitch in.

Well, perhaps because the holidays are coming up and everyone is on a tight budget, we weren’t able to round up enough people to come up with the total we needed. So I looked online and saw that I could get an external drive for Madlyn’s computer for a surprisingly low price (Black Friday deals and all). I ordered it, and gave it to her last weekend.

I was afraid she’d be embarrassed or reluctant to accept a gift when she couldn’t reciprocate, but instead, she gave me a huge smile and heartfelt thank you. I was so happy to give it to her, and just as pleased that she accepted so graciously.

In this time of giving, let’s remember those who have less than we do without being afraid of how they might feel because of their circumstances. It’s a time of giving, after all, and if you can afford it, I can guarantee there is a friend, neighbor, or community member in need of what you can give. If they don’t do well with accepting the gift or even refuse it outright, you have shown the light of the season by trying.

And if you are on the receiving end of such a gift, remember it was done with love and your smile is enough of a gift in return.

Image Credits: Street scene © Татьяна Креминская–stock.adobe.com; Candles © asife–stock.adobe.com

Mimi is ready for the royal life. I almost called her “Queen Mimi,” but hey, I’m the ruler of the roost around here (why do I think I hear my cats laughing?).

Image Credits: Paws in Heart © Bigstock Photos; Cesar Cat © Belinda O; Mimi © Belinda O; Royal Cat © Kudryashka–stock.adobe.com

I’ve been editing down the storage space–something that’s taking me a very long time to accomplish–and I just cleared out some of Walter’s favorite hiding spaces. Don’t worry, he’ll find more, but in the meantime he doesn’t quite know what to make of this newly tidied space.

Image Credits: Paws in Heart © Bigstock Photos; Cesar Cat © Belinda O; Walter © Belinda O; Scaredy Cat © Alice–stock.adobe.com

I belong to a writer’s group, and we’re always open to new members. It brings a new life and new perspective to the critiquing process, something any good writer welcomes. But we have a hard time finding the right people. That’s not to say people who are right with us, but rather, people who think we’re right for them.

We had one young woman we all liked and we thought she liked us, until she bowed out saying she didn’t have the time to write that she thought she would. Now, we don’t demand much, if anything, of our writers. If they don’t have time to write, they don’t have to submit. That seems to happen to everyone. We always have enough submissions to make the meetings worthwhile. So her excuse fell a little flat.

Later, we discovered through a mutual acquaintance of one of our members and this young woman, that she was intimidated by our ages. The youngest is in his thirties, but I’m the second youngest and I’m 63. The oldest is 88. She shouldn’t have been intimidated. She should have welcomed the experience.

Especially since she was majoring in 20th century history. Wow, what we could have shared with her based on our personal experiences and the stories from our parents. It might have added a whole new life to some of her lessons.

I know it’s difficult sometimes reaching out beyond your own age group, and there’s a discomfort if you’re primarily surrounded by people your own age. Recently I visited my dad in Palm Desert, CA, and we went to the Living Desert, which is a zoo featuring desert animals from around the world (including some wallabies, such as the ones pictured here just for fun.). We happened to be there on a day when they had Halloween treats and activities for the kids. It was also one of the first weekends in a very long time with tolerable outside temperatures.

My dad was uncomfortable around all these children. He’d been equally uncomfortable a few months before around all the college students, and even their parents, when he attended my nephew’s graduation from Tulane. He’s used to being with others in their 70s and 80s (he’s 87). Now, my dad gets along well with people and he’s not reclusive, He just mostly hangs out with people his own age.

But I hope we all can reach out beyond our comfort zone and learn from others in a different age group, whether they’re younger or older. History has value, but so does the latest cutting edge technology. We all have value.

Image Credits: Wallabies © dennisjacobsen–stock.adobe.com; People of All Ages © Kai Alves–stock.adobe.com; Woman at Computer © MP Studio–stock.adobe.com.