My World With Words

Thirteen years ago began the most painful period of my life. I won’t go into it, except to say people lied to me, people lied about me, and judgments were made based on those lies. 

After it was all over, I heard this over and over again, “there’s a reason for what you went through.” I still say, yeah, the reason is some people are just plain evil. However, some good did come out of it, although on the balance I’m not sure it was enough.

The main thing that happened to my benefit is I’m less likely to get pushed around. Before this, that happened on a regular basis, especially at work. I remember one of my bosses saying, “you’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever worked with–maybe too nice.” This on a job were I was accused of being too blunt by some others.

Of course, some of that bluntness came from differences between the way northerners and southerners address issues. I was trying to be nice and fair, but learned the hard way you don’t say “no” to a southerner. You say “maybe” and never address the issue again. For example, I had a co-worker who asked if I had time to help her with a project. I didn’t, and said so. I was told later by my manager I should have said “maybe” and left it at that. You say “maybe” in the north, and it’s interpreted as, “I’ll do what I can to help you.”

But I digress. Like I said, I was pushed around at work on a near daily basis. It was painful for me and painful for the people on my job who cared about me. They’re the ones who came to my defense when lies started spreading about me, and to this day we remain friends.

But after what I went through on that last job, the place where all the pain began, I toughened up. I’m still a nice person, and I catch myself being “too nice” from time to time. But not nearly as much. My manager on my current job is a fair person–she understands, for example, that there are two sides to every story–but she can be blunt, which is difficult for some people. It doesn’t faze me.

Once upon a time I would have assumed she didn’t like me because of that bluntness, and would have done everything in my power to get her to like me. The problem is, that kind of obsequious behavior generally has just the opposite result. People lose respect for you, and tend to, yes, push you around. Now I’m not saying I know my manager would do that, I’m making a general statement, but I can bet she’d lose respect for me.

If there is a reason for what I went through, something that would balance all the pain and cost to me, my family, and my friends, I have yet to see it. Maybe it helped someone else, I don’t know. I believe good can come out of evil, and I believe God works all things together, but I don’t believe it justifies what people are capable of doing.

Image Credits: Domino Effect © BillionPhotos.com–stock.adobe.com; Bad Communication © Nuthawat–stock.adobe.com; Employee/Boss © Nusara–stock.adobe.com

Today’s Bloganuary prompt is “What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?”

When I was about eight, I was taking swimming lessons. The final requirement was to jump off the high dive, something that made my eyes grow wide with fear. I tried to get out of it, but there was no way they were going to let me off the hook. So I climbed the ladder to the top, crying the whole way.

When I reached the diving board, I walked to the edge, looked down, and froze. I stood there for an eternity until a very kind high school boy walked out to meet me and told me he’d hold my hand as I jumped. That didn’t really allay my fears, but I knew I had no choice. So we jumped.

I’d like to say that leap into the deep end of the pool was exhilarating and made me want to race up and jump once more, but it wasn’t and didn’t. Instead, I never went back to that pool again.

These days I don’t think of the high dive when it comes to things I’m afraid of, although I doubt you could get me to climb up and jump. It’s sky diving that comes to mind. I can’t imagine what would get me to jump, unless it was to save my own life. However, I don’t see myself getting in a small plane equipped with sky diving gear to start with.

Fear of heights is really a fear of falling, I’m told, and that makes sense. After 9/11, I had frequent nightmares that I was on top of one of the twin towers and had to jump. I always woke up at the point I realized I was going to die. It makes me think about those for whom that jump became a terrible reality. I already knew I could never work in high rise, but that tragedy reinforced my belief.

I don’t even think I could go up in a hot air balloon. I’d be on the floor of the “basket” the whole time. What are the other high-in-the-sky sports? Don’t even mention them to me. A friend of mine dated a pilot for a time. and he took us up in his small plane. I wasn’t much fun on that excursion.

Yes, fear of falling is the thing I’m most scared of, and you’re not going to get me that high off the ground without knocking me out cold. And that’s that.

Image Credits: Gliding © Sergei–stock.adobe.com; High Dive © Maggie–stock.adobe.com

Today’s Bloganuary prompt is “What do you complain about the most?” I’ll be so glad when Bloganuary is over.

Okay, that’s one complaint. But really, I don’t complain about much. I figure if I have some control over it, do something about it. If I don’t have any control, then complaining isn’t going to do me much good. So I don’t gripe about the weather, although like anyone else I’m not always happy about it.

I do, of course, have my pet peeves. Like people who drive too close or too fast. You’re not going to get me to go any faster by riding my tail. In fact, if anything, I might slow down to compensate for your reckless driving.

I don’t really like to put the things that make me unhappy down in print. I don’t think it reflects well on me. Not that I’m trying to hide my true nature, mind you. But seriously, who wants to hear someone else complain?

At my local grocery store, as you’re checking out they ask how satisfied you are with your visit that day. If one of the workers treated me well, or if I could easily find everything I wanted, I mark five stars. If I’m upset, I don’t mark anything at all. I think the better way to deal with a problem is to talk face-to-face with the person who can do something about it.

I don’t think that sort of rating system is effective. Someone might be in a bad mood and mark one star, just out of spite but not because anything really negative happened. When I bought my current car, the sales person let me know I’d get a survey if I took my car in to the dealership to get it serviced. He also told me anything less then a rating of ten out of ten is considered a zero.

There is the flip side of this, of course. I frequently look at ratings if I plan to buy something or am interested in finding a good book. I rely on the opinions of others in those situations to make a decision. I’m looking at buying a mattress right now and those opinions matter to me. If others have complaints, I want to hear them. I should add that the more people who’ve weighed in, the better.

But whining doesn’t do it for me. So for now, I’ll work on not being a complainer and instead, being a doer.

Image Credits: Complaining Egg © flowertiare–stock.adobe.com; Ratings Stars © Sergey Kolesov–stock.adobe.com

This is a post from almost nine years ago, and I was happily surprised to see some of you in the “likes” and “comments” sections. Thank you for your loyalty to my blog! Anyway, today’s Bloganuary prompt asked what sports I like to watch and play. The answer is simple: I like to watch football and I don’t like to play any sports. Hope you enjoy my take on things!

Image Credit: Football © Sergey Nivens–stock.adobe.com

how to pretend you care about football