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Fate, Faith and Consequences

AdobeStock_10518335 pngA few years ago I was struck down, metaphorically speaking, by circumstances I felt were outside of my control. I’ve since realized I do have a lot more say in what happens to me, but at the time, I was easily controlled by people in authority or even just people with a lot more self-confidence. I was too nice, too eager to please.

I’m still a nice person, but I don’t sacrifice my own self-worth for others any more. It’s been a difficult journey. At the time this all happened, others told me there was a reason for my suffering and eventually I would understand why I had to go through all of it. To this day, I resent hearing that. Yes, I learned some valuable lessons. But that doesn’t justify the actions of others, nor does it make sense of what happened.

I believe there are consequences to our actions, and not just for ourselves. What we do can help or hurt others, just as what they do can affect our lives. I also believe in God, and I believe he can bring about change in our lives that we didn’t expect or don’t deserve. But I don’t believe he intends for us to suffer. Man has free will, and that brings me back to this: consequences. We are responsible to ourselves and others. Just don’t expect others to always treat you as you deserve to be treated.

Blonde woman standing alone in a studioLife can be difficult, but it also can be joyous. Most of the time we land somewhere in between. Right now, life is good for me. There are struggles, but I have the support of family and friends. I know the path I need to take to solve some of my problems, although that doesn’t always mean I do what I’m supposed to. The consequences are mostly mine to bear, and for that I’m grateful. I don’t want others to have their happiness depend on me.

Do I believe in fate? I believe good and bad comes into everyone’s life. I believe in luck. I believe in perseverance. I believe in myself. And that’s as much as I know on the topic, so I’m sticking with that.

Image Credits: Sad Woman © Ella–stock.adobe.com; Confident Woman © Jacob Lund–stock.adobe.com; Winding Road © tarasov_vl–stock.adobe.com

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Walter Has a Favorite TV Show

We all know cats sleep a lot, but now Walter is spending at least part of his waking hours watching TV. And he has good taste! Here he’s caught watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show. But next both of us are getting up and exercising.

Image Credits: Cesar Cat © Belinda O, Paws in Heart, © bigstockphoto.com.

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Tab, What a Beautiful Drink

Call it brand loyalty. Call it comfort buying. Call it addiction. When I like something, I stick with it. These days my drink of choice is Diet Coke (or Coke Light, if you’re overseas), but for years it was Tab.

It didn’t start with Tab. Growing up, my mom always had a bottle of Diet Pepsi in the refrigerator. My brother, sister and I were strictly forbidden from drinking it, which meant when we did sneak a sip, we added water to bring the contents back up to the  mark they had been at. 

In college, I was broke, but never too short of cash to buy a six-pack of Tab. Diet Coke came out in the 80s, but I refused to switch.  When I moved to my present location, Tab wasn’t available, so the only time I could get any was when I visited family or friends in Minnesota. Apparently it remained available there until Coca-Cola decided to discontinue it altogether, sometime around 2020. I was devastated when I found out. And a little angry. 

I’m a loyal friend, but my loyalties extend beyond that. These days I only buy one brand of jeans. They fit, whatever  the style, and flatter me. Why look for something else? I’ve always driven a Toyota, except for one Honda, and should I buy another car, I expect it to be a Toyota as well. I’m that kind of consumer.

AdobeStock_199818521 [Converted]It’s not to say I won’t change for good reason. I did switch laundry detergents when I found one that comes in sheets instead of plastic bottles. The sheets come in a biodegradable envelope, so all in all, it’s much better for the environment. A friend told me about them, and now I’m a loyal consumer to Earth Breeze. And yes, it does get my clothes just as clean as the pods used to.

This isn’t meant to be a commercial, so I apologize if it sounds like one. I’m not profiting from this post in any way. It’s just that these products are good to me, so I come back for more. Arguably, Tab, and now, to a lesser degree, Diet Coke, may not be so good for me. But I like them and remain loyal just the same. Okay, I’ve tried to quit Diet Coke, and maybe someday I will. But not to switch to Diet Pepsi. 

Loyalty is one of those things I’m proud to say is part of who I am. If you’re my friend, I will respect and honor you. If you make a good product, I will come back for more. And maybe write about it in a blog post.

Incidentally, the title of this post comes from an old ad for Tab: “Tab, what a beautiful drink. Tab, for beautiful people.” Here’s an NBC promo followed by a Tab commercial:

Image Credit: Laundry © Marco–stock.adobe.com

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Older and a Little Bit Wiser

cat and microphone on a pink background. the cat sings into theI used to dream about being a skilled musician. In my fantasies, I could play the piano with panache and sing the most difficult songs with ease. It didn’t stop there. I could also dance.

I no longer waste my time dreaming about those things. They simply aren’t in my skill set. If I can carry a tune well enough to soothe my cats, I’m satisfied. It has to be a simple song that allows for some improvisation at the parts out of my three-note range. Those songs are out there, as Walter and Mimi, my kitties, can testify.

Today’s challenges for me focus on what I can do. I can write. I can knit. I can design sweaters and other knitted goods for myself and my family. I still have a vivid imagination, something I didn’t lose when I grew out of childhood. 

But the most important thing I can do, something I didn’t fully recognize when I was younger, is to love myself, my family, and my friends. To be there for them when they need me. To help others when they can’t help themselves, or when resources are limited. To lend my support when times are tough.

AdobeStock_210621413 [Converted]In the past couple of months I’ve been talking to my dad on a regular basis. His wife Jeanne died in December, something I wrote about earlier. It’s been a powerful thing in my life, these conversations. I hope it has been the same for him. We didn’t used to talk much, and in recent years the phone calls got shorter and shorter.

I realize now that Jeanne had been going downhill for sometime and his energy and focus was on her. I didn’t realize how bad her Alzheimer’s was–or that she even had Alzheimer’s–until after she died. I feel a bit guilty that I was so unaware of something so important, but the reality is, not too many people knew. My brother was a little more clued in, and even he didn’t know the extent of the problem.

As anybody over the age of 30 can testify, you get older, you get wiser. You see things you didn’t see before, and recognize the signs that someone needs you. Sometimes, however, reality catches up with you and you see that you aren’t as wise as you thought or hoped. That’s a sort of wisdom in and of itself.

Older and little bit wiser.

Image Credits: Sapling © Arthon–stock.adobe.com; Singing cat © Elena–stock.adobe.com;  Telephone © stock.adobe.com

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What to Say, What Not to Say

As some of you know, I’ve been trying to write a novel. Originally when I joined my writer’s group, I had planned to write a memoir, and had gotten pretty far in outlining my efforts. I was going to focus on some of the mental health issues I’ve faced and their consequences, among other things.

Problem is, my mental health issues are tame compared to what many people face. I’ve struggled with depression and was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder not otherwise specified. In my case that meant there were identifiable episodes of bipolar depression, but it didn’t appear to be an ongoing problem. I do take medication, but for many years now there’s been no sign of anything resembling bipolar disorder.

A lot of my problems come from family issues when I was growing up. I struggled with these all through my 20s and 30s, but now I’ve gotten past them (for the most part) and have healed several of the relationships that brought me down previously.

AdobeStock_563786899I’ve watched young women I know fairly well deal with-or not deal with–many of the same sort of issues I faced at their age, and at least one of them is notorious for saying, “you have no idea what I’m going through.” Those of us who are older and wiser just shake our heads and say to each other, “yeah, right. Like we didn’t go through the same thing.”

If I had a better recall of the specifics of what I went through, it probably would make for some good essays, but I’ve moved past that era of my life and I simply don’t remember the day-to-day struggles. Either that, or I don’t want to.

And here’s the other thing about writing a memoir: in order for it to be any good, I have to be painfully honest, and I have no desire to do that. There’s no healing value in it for me anymore, and other people in my life don’t need to see that part of my life. I’m a fairly private person and I’d like to keep it that way.

Beautiful daisy isolated on white background

Many people I know, in fact, think I had an idyllic childhood. I don’t necessarily want to let them keep believing that, but I don’t really want to go into any detail about why that isn’t true. It’s not that I want to keep secrets, mind you. There’s a difference between secrets and private matters.

Which leads me back to where I began with this post. I’ve been trying to write a novel. I think I’ll stick with that.

Image Credits: Daisy © Leonid Ikan–stock.adobe.com; Both line images © OneLineStock–stock.adobe.com;