Last Friday I texted my best friend from college to wish her a happy birthday. Laurie has been a loyal friend these past forty-five years, and it seems we’ve grown together. We’ve changed in our faith and core beliefs in much the same way, we’ve survived terrible times and hold a similar perspective on pain and growth.
We also appreciate the same fun things–she and her family are loyal Oregon Ducks football fans and I have a few favorite pro teams. I watch the Ducks whenever I can (which granted, isn’t much) and send her text messages throughout the game if I know she’s also watching.
As soon as she received my text, Laurie asked if we could talk. Of course I said yes. It turns out she had a concern about a member of her family and needed to talk through everything that was bothering her. The story required some background info, so our talk took more than a little time, which I was happy to give her.
We live 2,000 miles apart and haven’t seen each other in nearly forty years, but our friendship has remained strong. Has what I look for in a friend changed in the last forty years? Not really. I need friends who support me, who understand how important my faith is to me (whether or not they believe the same things), and who can let me be silly at times. If I’m fretting over my cats’ health, as I have the last few weeks, I need friends who understand fur babies are important, especially for those who are single and live alone.
I’m not someone who has a ton of friends and I value those who are close to me. While I’ve moved and some of my friendships have fallen by the wayside as a result, I also know exactly who would still be there for me if I moved back. My friend Karen saw me through a couple of bad relationships. Our communication has been limited to Facebook posts in recent years, yet I know we still have the same values. I could contact her and we’d grab our knitting and gab for who knows how long.
I count my blogging buddies as friends as well. While we don’t spend as much time together, we know and support each other through our posts. I care what you think, what you’re going through, what your values are. While online friendships are different, they are important to me.
I have friends who live close by that I depend on for practical matters as well. If I’m having surgery, I need someone to drive me to and from the hospital. I recently had my gall bladder removed, and my friend Deb handled driving duties. Madlyn helped with the cats the afternoon after the surgery as I was a bit groggy and not well-equipped to feed them and clean out their litter boxes. Madlyn also helps when I need to take the cats to the vet. It takes two to get each of them in their carrier, and she comes with me to the vet to help get them in and out of the car.
In short, my definition of what makes a good friend hasn’t changed much throughout my life. It’s just evolved.
Image Credits: Friendship Heart © OlgaStrelnikova–stock.adobe.com; Heart in Cat © Kamaga–Dollarphotoclub (now stock.adobe.com)
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