Pieces of the Whole
My last few cat posts have featured Walter, which is easy to do since he’s so much more expressive than Mimi. Today, however, I caught my little bean looking a little anxious, a little inquisitive, with a little, “say what?” expression on her sweet face. So I’m sharing Mimi with you, which is a good thing, seeing as how she’s such a love.
I’m betting most of you know someone with Cerebral Palsy (CP). I know several people as a result of formerly being a case manager for those with developmental disabilities, not to mention a friend in high school and the daughter of a co-worker now. It’s a disorder that runs the gamut in how much disability it causes, but all with CP have challenges with movement and posture.
They also have challenges with public perception.
Children, we all know, can be cruel, especially when presented with a classmate who is different in some way. My friend Leigh and my co-worker’s daughter Anna (not her real name) were teased so much all through school that they became reclusive and had difficulty making friends. Leigh found a church group and Anna relates well to adults, but not people her own age.
Anna’s mom talked to Anna’s teachers, who allegedly all said the same thing: “we’ll just make it worse by punishing the children who tease.” (Maybe that’s true, maybe not–I’m not entirely sure Anna’s mom is telling me everything there.) Many schools have a zero tolerance policy with bullying now, and hopefully that helps children with disabilities survive the turmoil of their youth.
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Then there’s the opposite reaction of too much sympathy. When I worked in a bookstore, a boy using a walker came in once and headed straight to the children’s section. He asked for help once getting a book down that he couldn’t reach, and aside from my usual can-I-help-you-find-anything, that was all he needed from me. When he was ready to check out, he put his selections in the walker, and we headed up the cash register, where an older woman gushed all over him.
“Oh, you brave little angel,” she said. “You remind me of my granddaughter, and I love her so much.”
She turned to me and said, “Poor thing. His life must be so hard.” This right in front of the boy.
“I think he does just fine,” I snapped, and checked him out. I was impressed that he handled his own finances–he was probably 11 or 12–and when his mom showed up seconds later (she’d been looking for books in another section) I told her as much.
She beamed and he smiled. “He insists. He’s pretty independent.”
So there you go.
I think most of those reading this blog already know this, but I’ll say it anyway. Children and adults with disabilities, CP and otherwise, need help with the things they can’t manage because of the limitations of their disability. That’s it. The rest of it is the life stuff we all face (okay, we all need help with that from time to time) and you can’t coddle or patronize them.
That’s how you show respect and love.
Image Credits: Friendship with Heart © artbesouro–stock.adobe.com; World Cerebral Palsy Day © Waseem Ali Khan–stock.adobe.com
Last week, while getting ready to turn at a busy intersection, I found myself growing a bit impatient with the car in front of me. He wasn’t moving, even though we had the green light and there was no oncoming traffic. Turns out he was keeping us both safe, for several long seconds into that green light a minivan, going east-west to my north-south, tore across traffic, ran into a car crossing the intersection and spun out of control, nearly tipping over in the process. I can only guess that they seriously misjudged the yellow light and chose to speed up rather than slam on their brakes.
It scared the bejeebers out of me. I got home and thought, what if they had hit me? I drive a small car; I could easily have been hurt in a collision like that (and no, I don’t know if there were any injuries). Who would take care of my cats if I were in the hospital? I quickly texted a friend and asked if I could leave my keys with her for just such an emergency.
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This comes on the heels of a horrific home fire I recently heard of, in which one woman was killed. I need to say here she did everything right, but fires are unpredictable. But it did prompt me to buy an emergency ladder for my second floor apartment. I know all the ways out of my apartment–there aren’t many–but some of you live in bigger homes. I encourage you to map out multiple escape routes for yourself and your family members. It’s easy to say you’re going to do it, and just as easy to forget. Invest in emergency ladders if you live in a multi-story building. You can buy them on Amazon and I’d bet a myriad of other places, depending on where you live.
Hurricane Ian reminds all of us to have a plan for a power failure. I live substantially inland and hurricanes generally travel east of me, so they’re not my worry, but there can be a lot of reasons for a power failure. Keep a flashlight handy (I’ve heard they don’t recommend you rely on your cell phone as a flashlight in the event your electricity goes out. You should be saving your phone’s power for phone calls). Keep some Nutella and crackers or whatever around at all times (of course that stuff will go bad so you have to eat and replenish!).
And as I hinted above, give a spare key to a trusted friend or family member if you live alone and have pets so someone will be available to care for them in the event of an accident. In fact, even if you don’t live alone, make sure someone is always available to care for your pets.
There are so many things we can do to be prepared for life’s surprises. Not paranoid, but prepared. Be prepared. Save a life.
Image Credits: Checklist © hadjanebia–stock-adobe.com; Flame © Denys Holovatiuk–stock.adobe.com.
I’m committing to making a conscious effort to be grateful for what I have. It’s not that I haven’t been grateful in the past, but I have taken a lot for granted. What a luxury! With a bit of irony, I find myself being thankful that I have been able to take so much for granted.
It’s not that I want to live a life of paranoia that I may lose what I treasure, but rather, I want to lift my eyes skyward and say, “thank you, God, for continued good health. I know that as I age, things will go wrong, but remind me about what I still have, and remind me to be grateful for your continued care, no matter what happens.”
Not just my health is involved here, of course, although the older I get the more aware I become of what can go wrong. And I don’t want to imply that I won’t grieve losses or feel fear or frustration in the future (sorry for the alliteration). But the overriding feeling should be gratitude.
I am grateful for my friends, past and present, online and in person. I thank God for my parents and my brother and sister and all the work they do on my behalf when the situation calls for it.
Why gratitude now, you ask? I’ve come very close to losing a few things I value, and I’m grateful to have had them, whether or not they stay in my life. I’ve had gratitude journals in the past and they didn’t really work for me, but I do want to daily be grateful for the good things in my life.
So I’m holding on to gratitude. I think it makes the heart beat stronger, literally and figuratively.
Image Credits: Skyward © prosign–stock.adobe.com; Heart © Belinda O
The first thought that came to me when I heard today is National Day of Encouragement was a baby learning to walk. Parents and others in the baby’s life are coaxing and saying things like “come on, we know you can do it!” In most cases, that’s true. The baby can learn to walk. But she may not know it quite yet.
In the same way, there are times when someone in your life needs a sincere “I know you can do it!” That friend may not believe in their own strength, but you’ve seen it. And the closer they get to the goal, the more encouragement they may need, just until that first step is taken.
And when they fall, help them pick themselves up, dust themselves off and start all over again.
Of course, babies need encouragement for more than just learning to walk. It’s more than a one-time thing for the people in your life as well. Keep an eye out for the times when someone needs an example demonstrating why you believe in them, something you’ve seen in them that lets you know more is possible.
I know you can do it! Six magic words.
Image Credit: Baby learning to walk ©evgeniy–stock.adobe.com.
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