Author: Belinda O

Once, many years ago, before cell phones but after we all got answering machines with caller ID, someone dialed my number by mistake. I don’t remember the details exactly, but the gist of it was some man who’d planned to meet his buddy couldn’t make it and wanted to reschedule. Good Samaritan that I was,  when I heard the message an hour or so later, I called back the number that popped up on the caller ID to let the guy know he’d dialed the wrong number.

Problem was, he didn’t answer. A woman, presumably his wife, did. I explained the reason for my call, but fumbled when my kind gesture was met by stony silence. After repeating myself several times (why, oh why did I do that?), I hung up.

Obviously, she didn’t buy the he-dialed-the-wrong-number bit.

Since that time, I’ve left well enough alone when someone calls me by mistake. It doesn’t happen too often, but a few days ago I received a message from a man who was quite anxious to talk to his friend. Not in a frightening way, like he was incredibly angry or, worse yet, suicidal, but clearly this conversation was important to him. Still, I didn’t call back. Phone safety is a tricky thing and I only talk to people I know.

An episode of Frasier dealt with this issue of helping strangers in its usual comic way some twenty years ago or so, only Frasier ended up in the police station, busted for solicitation of a female impersonator. Of course the show didn’t end there and Frasier ended up continuing with his practice of kindness to strangers.

As do I. One suspicious wife isn’t going to stop me from helping others. However, now that I’m older and wiser, I do put my own safety first. It doesn’t mean I couldn’t be hoodwinked by someone who knows X number of people will help a child in need, but I take care. It’s sad to me that most of us are cautious when it comes to helping those we don’t know, but that’s the way it is.

For now, anyway.

Image credits: People helping people © Bro Vector–stock.adobe.com; Retro telephone © siraanamwong–stock.adobe.com

I’ve once again started knitting hats and mittens for charitable giving, and I’m struck by this: how much credit can I take for altruism if I’m knitting these things in part because I have no further need for knitted items? I have plenty of cold weather wear, from gloves to sweaters, so I’m giving my full knitting attention to others. That’s not to say I didn’t do charitable knitting before. I did do some. But the other question I ask is, does it matter?

Now the Bible teaches us those making a show of their giving will get their full reward here on earth, so maybe, given this post, that’s all I can expect. That would make me sad, but I feel compelled to ask if those who receive these gifts will give a rat’s patooty what my motivation is, and if I’m overthinking things.

Giving, in my mind, is more than financial. Giving your old, gently-worn coats to those in need is a good thing, even if you know you would never wear that coat again because your new one is so much better. If we put our focus on the multitude of ways we can help others, good things will happen. And not only to others, but to ourselves.

An August 17, 2021 article on BigThink.com says giving may actually help us live longer.  It certainly makes us feel good. It seems to me that many people who volunteer a lot have a gentler demeanor, perhaps a more empathetic one as well.

There’s only so much personal consumption can do for any of us. It does feel good to get money, but if you spend every cent you get (please don’t, please save) you’re not likely to be any happier than your neighbor who gives generously. We know that intuitively.

So I guess I’ve come to the conclusion that people who suffer in cold weather will be happy to have hats and mittens regardless of what percentage of my knitting I can credit to being a good person. Just give and don’t give it another thought. I’ve done enough of that.

Image credits: Giving heart © nito–stock.adobe.com; Trumpets © lembit–stock.adobe.com