Belinda O

April 1, 2017April 19, 2017

The Last Minute

If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

As a journalism student — let’s broaden that, as a college student — I was pretty amused by that quote. It was framed and hanging in the office of my journalism professor. My junior year, I was yearbook editor, and learned the hard truth. You wait to the last minute, you pay a high price.

There is a certain thrill in procrastination, and some say that’s why people do it, to get that adrenaline rush that comes from facing a deadline there’s no way you can meet. Then you do, and the surge that races through you (if you’re not dead tired) is reward enough to compensate for all, or most, of the negatives (like I mentioned, being dead tired).

There are times when you’re dependent on others to be responsible enough to meet their deadlines so you, in turn, can meet yours. Several years ago I worked as a communications manager for a major corporation in their benefits department. The company had a team of directors from numerous departments who approved all communication that went out from my department, and most of them were dependable and respectful of me, the lower-level employee making demands on their time.

Of course, one woman wasn’t so kind. In fact, she was a … . Well, you’ve all worked with the type. We had an exceptionally tight deadline, and I was depending on her to meet it. It was an absolute deadline for me, and I told her in numerous emails, a couple of phone calls and through the director of my division that whether or not I heard from her, the material had to go to press on Monday, June 7. I meant business.

That Monday came, and I hadn’t heard from her. With my director’s approval, for that matter, the support of the entire team of directors, I sent this material out.

AdobeStock_109610839 [Converted] sm — GRRRRR!

The next morning I got a call from her assistant, who sheepishly told me Director B wanted to know what day was the REAL deadline.

“It was yesterday,” I told her, and reminded her of the multiple notifications I had sent out. In barely a whisper, she agreed I was right, but told me to expect a call.

Of course, my phone didn’t ring, my director’s did, but she was prepared. I’d like to say we won that battle, but we didn’t. We won the war, however. Director B was told by executive management she wouldn’t get a second chance next time.

We paid a high price for that situation, and here’s the thing: deadlines are deadlines for a reason. No one should have to play games by giving false dates, or give in because the other person resents being told what to do by someone lesser than her.

Of course, life happens, and sometimes deadlines are missed for legitimate reasons.

While I prioritize my projects, I no longer operate on the premise “it’s not a crisis, so I have plenty of time.” That doesn’t mean I’m not scrambling at the last minute with some projects, but that can’t always be helped. And admittedly, sometimes I just don’t feel like doing whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing, and I knit instead (obviously, that’s for projects I’m working on at home). I do my best to keep those times from being a habit, and I also avoid having deadlines with my knitting.

I only wish there was some funny quote for sparing myself the drama of procrastination.

Image Credits (calendar) © grublee — Bigstock; (girl at desk) © marinabh — Adobe Stock

Later

March 31, 2017April 14, 2017

Is the plural Octopuses or Octopi?

When I was a child, we made frequent trips to the nearby aquarium. The first exhibit down one dark hall — a hall with few escapes — was the giant octopus (just how giant it was is today unclear, but at the time, I thought it was HUGE).

Now, this was not a pretty creature (name the octopus that is) and it seemed to be looking out at us, at me, with its wide eyes. I was certain it was quite angry at being cooped up in that little space, and one day was going to escape and…get me.

My parents were a little amused at this fear, but kept their smiles hidden as they reassured me that simply couldn’t happen. Even if it did get out, they told me, which was nearly impossible, it wouldn’t survive outside of water. In the dry environment, it would be immobilized.

Octopus mimics the cat — “What are you doing out? I told you to stay in the tank!”

Apparently, that isn’t the case at all, although I have no doubt my parents were certain they were telling me the truth. In fact, on one trip, I think they even got aquarium workers to back them up.

As an adult, I’ve heard numerous stories of octopuses escaping from their tanks (most recently Inky of New Zealand, whom, aquarium authorities surmised, escaped out of his tank and down a drain pipe leading to the ocean.) In fact, in an article in “True Activist,” octopus expert Jennifer Mather is quoted from an interview in “Scientific American” as saying, “They are very strong, and it is practically impossible to keep an octopus in a tank unless you are very lucky. Octopuses simply take things apart. I recall reading about someone who had built a robot submarine to putter around in a large aquarium tank. The octopus got a hold of it and took it apart piece by piece.

“There’s a famous story from the Brighton Aquarium in England 100 years ago that an octopus there got out of its tank at night when no one was watching, went to the tank next door and ate one of the lumpfish and went back to his own tank and was sitting there the next morning.”

So not only can they escape, but apparently they’re pretty clever. The Brighton Aquarium lost several more lumpfish before they figured out what was going on.

Aquarium workers acknowledge they need to keep their captive octopuses entertained or they get bored, and who wants a bored octopus? My research revealed many of these captive creatures were injured when they were captured (in a fisherman’s net, perhaps), so some humanity is exhibited in keeping them contained.

But once they are well, it can be argued that holding them in a tank is a compromised existence.

cant see the cat — You can’t see me if I can’t see you!

Which brings me back to my feelings about aquariums today. NO WAY am I going to one with an octopus. Another interesting piece of information I learned in my research for this post? Octopuses have fantastic eyesight. I know if I visit an aquarium, the resident octopus will spot me, far back in the crowd, and decide “this is it, now’s the time. I’m busting out of here and that chick is going to get it.”

Don’t even bother trying to convince me otherwise. I’ve already proven I know more than the grown-ups.

Images © geosap — Adobe Stock

Note: While there is a general consensus in the discussions I read that the word “octopus” is of Greek origin, there was some disagreement about the plural. Some said it would be “octopuses,” while others emphatically stated it should be “octopodes.” One man disagreed with all of that, saying the word actually has it origins in Latin, which would, indeed, make the plural “octopi.”

March 29, 2017April 8, 2017

We Draw The Line — No Dogs!! No! No!

Some of you may remember when, last summer, I posted some videos of my precious, sweet, mild-mannered babies meeting two equally sweet pups for the first time.

We were house-sitting, and the cats weren’t particularly happy about staying there, but nonetheless, they were curious.

In fact, I’ll just bring one of those videos out again. You can see how Mimi was brave, yet Walter retreated at the first — and distant — sight of Allie, who wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Over the last several months I’ve cared for these dogs many times, and of course, come home smelling like Allie and Lulu. The cats meticulously sniff me out, and then walk away.

So I figured it was okay, when my friend told me he was selling his house and, at the same time, would be doing a little bit of traveling, to let the dogs stay at my place while he was gone. I was a bit hesitant, so we thought a trial day would be a good idea.

Turned out we were right.

Lulu and Allie stepped through my door, and I expected the cats to retreat to their safe spot, downstairs, where the two bedrooms and full bath are. Plenty of room, with food and litter boxes and a big picture window that they already love. Not to mention the closet and under the bed, their favorite hiding places. I had the stairs blocked off so the dogs couldn’t get down there, but I suppose the cats didn’t fully know that to be fact.

Mama, Where Did You Say We're Moving — Who, me? My name is Mimi, not Meanie!

My passive, loving babies turned primal, with growls that came from deep within. When Mimi appeared about to leap at Allie (who had surrendered, sitting flat on the floor, with his back to the cats), I grabbed her — and paid the price. My right arm was full of punctures, and blood had splattered on my t-shirt.

We had our answer. The pups were headed to a kennel.

Fortunately, there’s a very good kennel nearby, out on a farm, that’s also reasonably priced. Allie and Lulu likely will be just as happy, if not happier, housed there for the two weeks Roger will be gone.

I learned my lesson — bring in friends, sure. The cable guy, okay. But keep the dogs away. This is kitty territory.

Territory

March 29, 2017June 25, 2017

So Simple, a Child Could Crash the Entire Thing

Several years ago, my mom went to work for a major hotel chain at the front desk. She was nervous about learning their computer system, despite repeated assurances it was “super-easy” and “fool-proof.” My mom was convinced she’d push the one button that would bring the entire system down.

“Can’t happen,” her supervisor said. “No such button. Besides, you’ll learn on the training system. Even if there were such a button, all you’d do is bring down the training modules.”

Which she did, first day on the job. She found the magic button, or combination of buttons, that crashed the entire system. No one could train for several days while they scrambled to fix it.

Damn! I thought I had hidden that button!

Of course, it wasn’t her fault. There never should have been such a possibility, and in the long run, she did them a big favor, as the same problem existed on the “real” system. But she didn’t feel very good about it.

She got over it. My dad was a computer programmer for IBM, and we all learned that in these situations, the real problem is the programming. “Don’t yell at the computer, it’s only doing what it’s told to do” is a mantra we memorized early on. So instead I curse the unknown programmers.

The more complex the program, the greater the possibility of some unseen problem, some bizarre calculation that’s going to cause things to go haywire.

The same is true in human communication. We each grow up understanding the world in a way unique to ourselves, a combination of our personality, education and environment. The way I phrase a sentence could mean one thing to you, and something else entirely to another individual.

Political candidates learn early on how carefully they must phrase every thought, or they risk the anger and mockery of their constituents — and the rest of the world. What’s humorous in their circles will incense others, and not because they’re saying anything inappropriate. It’s simply understood in a different manner.

tiger-498543_1920 — Imagine opening your door one morning, and there’s Hank…

Several years ago I was a reporter for a weekly newspaper, covering a city council meeting. They were debating what to do with non-domesticated pets after one man’s pet tiger, Hank, escaped and prowled around the neighborhood before being recaptured. The idea of grandfathering in any such pets was briefly considered.

“Why not?” Councilman Y asked another. “It’s not like there are more tigers out there.”

“Well, we don’t know what’s out there,” Councilman Z replied. “Someone could have a contraband ferret in their basement.” At the time, domesticated ferrets were unheard of in that part of the country.

I included the comment in my story, saying “in a lighter moment, councilman Z joked…” My editor thought it was a good addition to the story, and she was a pretty shrewd judge of what would and wouldn’t work.

girl-with-newspaper-sm — Contraband ferrets? Not in my backyard!!!

It didn’t work, at least not for some people. Apparently, a handful of vocal individuals in the community didn’t agree with Councilman Z’s sense of humor, and his tenure as councilman was threatened. He caused multiple problems for me and my editor after that, problems that landed him in court for holding public meetings in private to try to control the press (me). All for a lightweight comment I included with nothing but good intent. A sensible comment, at that.

You can’t always know what button will crash a system, or what comment will bring down a career. All you can do is live with integrity, and trust others will know who you are despite the one inadvertent, errant move.

And perhaps, in the long run, you’ll have a great story.

Image Credits: (crashed computer) © littlestocker — Adobe Stock; (girl with newspaper) © GraphicStock; (Tiger) courtesy of Pixabay

March 28, 2017April 9, 2017

Quirky, Quality, Goofy

Once, in junior high, in that typical, foolish, heartbreaking way we all seem to have of discovering the truth about our true love’s feelings, my best friend asked the boy of my dreams if he liked me.

“Well, kind of,” he said, “but she’s kind of, you know, different?”

I was crushed. It was, after all, junior high, and I wanted to fit in. Flash forward twenty years, and I’m breaking up with my boyfriend. He’s apparently still in junior high and feels a need to hurt me in as many ways as possibly during our final discussion.

But he’s unsuccessful, in part because he starts out with this: “you’re kind of offbeat, you know? Different?”

Nailed it, possibly for the first time in our relationship. Finally seemed to show some sort of understanding of who I am. A little offbeat, beat of a different drummer, all that.

Except as one wise man once told me, everyone who’s anti-establishment is anti-establishment in the same way, and the same holds true with being offbeat. It’s not as different as all that. It’s just another way of being in this world.

It’s taken me a long time to finally appreciate that with all my quirks, my social girl faux pas, my awkward moments — and those are bountiful — I’m still at heart someone who offers more than she takes, and that is immensely valuable in today’s world.

My friends like me for all of quirks, qualities and goofy ways. They like me despite my screw ups and because of my kind heart and sense of humor. They are quality people, so I’ve begun to see myself as one, too.

You are known by the company you keep, and you know who your friends are when trouble washes over you. My friends have proven my best qualities, time and again.

So here I stand, and here I stay.

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