Tag: faith

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I Had It All Worked Out…

Man plans. God laughs.

While I’ve always somewhat dismissed the above saying–I don’t believe God laughs and it’s a bit offensive to my faith–I do get the point. For the last couple of years I’ve been making plans to retire. Now it seems those plans may not come about as quickly as I’d hoped.

It was difficult for me to get up this morning, the Monday after daylight saving time started. It’s always a challenge to get out of bed on Mondays, in part because I let myself sleep in on the weekend against all expert advice, and in part because I just don’t want to go to work. In the past I’ve been able to say, okay, just x number of months left before you can retire. Now the time has stretched out considerably longer than a mere count of months.

I’m also concerned because I can no longer afford to visit my mom in Minneapolis. She’s getting older and I know I could lose her at any time. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not in failing health per se, but it is a struggle for her to walk very far. Plus, her memory is spotty. My plans after retirement include moving to Minneapolis myself, but of course that’s looking like it will take a little longer than expected as well.

However, I refuse to give in to the frustration of dashed hopes. I can be stubborn and I’ll put that quality to good use in this situation. Perhaps there is a strong reason things aren’t rolling out as I’d hoped. I guess I may never know about that for sure, but I do believe God is in control. My faith is getting stronger. That’s due in part to a renewed commitment to pray and read the Bible (don’t worry, I’m not going to preach) as well as a priest at my Episcopalian church who speaks to our relationship with God and his nature. It’s uplifting, something I haven’t experienced in church as often as I’d like.

So, I’m going to keep on planning, adjusting my ideas to each new factor that affects my decision. Until I hit my target, this woman plans, and no one laughs.

Image Credits: Target (header) © alexdndz–stock.adobe.com; Stubborn Fox © Jean–stock.adobe.com

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Trust but Verify

Today while waiting for my lunch hour to arrive, a little hungry, a little cranky, I heard my co-worker Anna take a call from her daughter. Here’s what Anna said:

“You’re kidding! Where are you?”

“No, stay where you and do what they tell you to do.”

“I’ll stay on the phone with you.”

My antenna was up. I was afraid it might be what so many parents–and others without children–fear: a shooter on campus. It turned out I was close in what I’d been thinking. There’d been no gunfire, but police confiscated a gun from a student who’d brought it to school and was showing it to friends. He’d made no threats. He just was stupid about show-and-tell.

Anna, my co-worker, was calm throughout the entire conversation. Fortunately it didn’t take long for things to cool down, although students were told to stay in place for awhile after they’d arrested the boy. That got her daughter agitated, but Anna assured her there are procedures in place and while we may not understand them, we need to follow them.

Procedures in place. How many times have we questioned those in authority about one thing or the other, simply because we didn’t understand the whys of what they were doing? Or maybe we don’t question them per se, but get frightened because something seems to be taking too long.

Doctors order tests with certain symptoms simply to rule things out, but they’re also protecting themselves. What if they didn’t check it out and it resulted in lifelong consequences, or even death, for a patient? Yes, the tests can be expensive, but I don’t believe the doctors are doing it to make money. I believe they’re covering their you-know-whats, emotionally and financially. And it’s the responsible thing to do.

It pays to question those in authority if we’re wondering what’s going on rather than surmise what they’re doing. A lot of people would prefer to gossip and moan instead of getting the truth. Don’t be one of them. Trust those who have proven themselves worth of that trust, and ask questions when you can about why they do what they do.

And pray that your school campuses are safe. Procedures can save lives.

Image Credits: Woman on phone © Malik/peopleimages.com–stock.adobe.com; Doctor/Patient © sebra–stock.adobe.com

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The Wisdom of Walter

It’s been a tough week for several of my friends, and it’s hard to say how things are going to fall out for some of them. It’s a scary world when the future is uncertain. But Walter says, take it one day at a time. Don’t worry about tomorrow, today has enough troubles of its own. Pray. And when things get really rough, give your kitty a hug.

Image Credits: Cesar Cat © Belinda O, Paws in Heart, © bigstockphoto.com, Heart in Paws © Reiu–stock.adobe.com

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Fate, Faith and Consequences

AdobeStock_10518335 pngA few years ago I was struck down, metaphorically speaking, by circumstances I felt were outside of my control. I’ve since realized I do have a lot more say in what happens to me, but at the time, I was easily controlled by people in authority or even just people with a lot more self-confidence. I was too nice, too eager to please.

I’m still a nice person, but I don’t sacrifice my own self-worth for others any more. It’s been a difficult journey. At the time this all happened, others told me there was a reason for my suffering and eventually I would understand why I had to go through all of it. To this day, I resent hearing that. Yes, I learned some valuable lessons. But that doesn’t justify the actions of others, nor does it make sense of what happened.

I believe there are consequences to our actions, and not just for ourselves. What we do can help or hurt others, just as what they do can affect our lives. I also believe in God, and I believe he can bring about change in our lives that we didn’t expect or don’t deserve. But I don’t believe he intends for us to suffer. Man has free will, and that brings me back to this: consequences. We are responsible to ourselves and others. Just don’t expect others to always treat you as you deserve to be treated.

Blonde woman standing alone in a studioLife can be difficult, but it also can be joyous. Most of the time we land somewhere in between. Right now, life is good for me. There are struggles, but I have the support of family and friends. I know the path I need to take to solve some of my problems, although that doesn’t always mean I do what I’m supposed to. The consequences are mostly mine to bear, and for that I’m grateful. I don’t want others to have their happiness depend on me.

Do I believe in fate? I believe good and bad comes into everyone’s life. I believe in luck. I believe in perseverance. I believe in myself. And that’s as much as I know on the topic, so I’m sticking with that.

Image Credits: Sad Woman © Ella–stock.adobe.com; Confident Woman © Jacob Lund–stock.adobe.com; Winding Road © tarasov_vl–stock.adobe.com

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Something Bad, Something Good

You just never know when something bad can happen. Two weeks ago I got to work (which is to say I walked from my bedroom to what I loosely call my office) and there was a cheery message from my colleague. This is the woman who trained me, and she takes the lead in assigning me work. Anyway, I sent a message to her saying I was ready for my assignments.  I didn’t hear and didn’t hear. My manager was late, and it turns out with good reason–she’d gotten a message from Rita, my co-worker, saying she (Rita) had fallen and broken her femur.  Hip replacement surgery was necessary.

AdobeStock_315071966 [Converted]I was shaking the rest of the morning. Not because of what happened to Rita (although I felt terrible for her), but what it means for me. The brunt of the workload is going to fall on me now, and I still don’t know how to do everything. I expect Rita will be out at least a month and I’m scared. Yes, it’s a chance to prove myself, and I’m trying to focus on that, but it’s scary asking questions my manager might expect me to know the answers to by now.

But things have started to come together. It’s still scary, and I’d be concerned if it wasn’t. But all I can do is all I can do, and leave it at that.  I’m learning a lot and that’s worth it all.

AdobeStock_308598167 [Converted]Of course in the middle of this newly-added pressure at work, my TV completely poops out. Doesn’t even power on. I had to resort to watching my streaming channels on my laptop, which has its limitations. I looked online at what was available in the way of new TVs and realized I’m still in the 20th century when it comes to television sets. Okay, maybe not completely. But close to the turn of the century. I mean, what is a smart TV?

I got lucky, though. I mentioned what had happened to my co-worker Bre, and she offered to give me one of her extra television sets. Of course I planned to pay, but she brushed that aside and gave it to me outright. Yes, it’s a smart TV–with Roku–and it fits perfectly on the little dresser I use as a TV stand. 

The really cool thing about this is that I’d just gotten a brand-new Roku, and now I can give that to a friend who’s limping by with one of the originals. She’s on a fixed income and is barely getting by, so I know she’ll appreciate this gift. I feel good.

bathroom scale and isolated on white backgroundAnd the last good/bad thing to happen? I had a health scare, which forced me to confront some of my bad eating habits. I’ve changed and lost five pounds–I’m close to my goal weight, which is a good thing since losing that weight was a New Year’s resolution and I’ve struggled every day with it. I just couldn’t get it together until I had a concrete reason to do so.

Yes, you never know when something bad is going to happen, but you never know when that something bad might turn into something good. 

Image Credits: All, © stock.adobe.com