Tag: friendship

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Six Magic Words

The first thought that came to me when I heard today is National Day of Encouragement was a baby learning to walk. Parents and others in the baby’s life are coaxing and saying things like “come on, we know you can do it!” In most cases, that’s true. The baby can learn to walk. But she may not know it quite yet.

In the same way, there are times when someone in your life needs a sincere “I know you can do it!” That friend may not believe in their own strength, but you’ve seen it. And the closer they get to the goal, the more encouragement they may need, just until that first step is taken.

And when they fall, help them pick themselves up, dust themselves off and start all over again.

Of course, babies need encouragement for more than just learning to walk. It’s more than a one-time thing for the people in your life as well. Keep an eye out for the times when someone needs an example demonstrating why you believe in them, something you’ve seen in them that lets you know more is possible.

I know you can do it! Six magic words.

Image Credit: Baby learning to walk ©evgeniy–stock.adobe.com.

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First Love

“I didn’t do it,” I protested. But she never stopped blaming me.

“I love you,” she whispered. I never stopped loving her.

I was game for her dreams, from sailing the world over to catching a falling star. We perused the same books, laughed at the same movies. We were perfect for each other.

Then it happened. We drifted apart. She had friends we didn’t share and interests I didn’t take part in.

She’d outgrown me, her parents said. Over the years she’d occasionally be in contact, but the final blow eventually came.

My imaginary friend, she called me.

Image Credit: little girl and dragon © Bigstock Photos; imaginary friend © stock.adobe.com

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Be Kind (a little goes a long way)

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
― Plato

Ever in your life felt like no one is fighting as difficult a battle as you? I have, and I’m embarrassed by my arrogance. Still, being overwhelmed is being overwhelmed, and once that wave washes over you, it’s sometimes hard to stand up.

I don’t quite agree with Plato that everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle, because everyone’s life ebbs and flows, but you don’t know what you don’t see. So being kind because everyone you meet might be fighting a harder battle seems like the more pragmatic way of thinking.

When I was a teenager, I noticed a lot of the older women in the grocery store–or wherever–seemed to be scowling. I took a bit of offense to that, because I thought they were scowling at me (like I said, I was a teenager), until one day I smiled at one of these ladies. Her smile in return had me quite taken aback and I realized, her frown had nothing to do with me.  Or anyone else, for that matter.

After that, I took to smiling at ladies who didn’t look happy, and the response I got was quite gratifying. While many of them may have been quite content, at least some of them were in pain, physical or emotional, and perhaps my smile made their day a little brighter. It was kindness, and I know now that the burdens many bear at 70 are a lot worse than what I was dealing with at 17 (and I had my share of pain).

Not long ago a child in my apartment complex came running up to me. I was surprised and thought she may have mistaken me for someone else, but she grinned at me and said, “here’s a lucky penny!” and handed me said coin. That was so sweet it made my day. I hadn’t been having a particularly difficult time of it, but kindness is always appreciated. And yes, her mom was nearby, keeping her generous daughter safe from stranger danger.

Be kind. It may be a ripple in a pond that goes a long way.

Image Credit: ©TOimages–stock.adobe.com

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The Cream Always Rises

“The cream always rises,” a favorite college professor of mine used to tell his classes, and like fools, we thought he meant if ever you were unemployed, or underemployed, you’d end up getting a great job. If you were top-notch, that is, and we all thought we were. Or at least hoped we were.

While there may be some truth to our naïve beliefs, having a superlative job isn’t everything. And it certainly wasn’t what our professor was referring to. He was close to retirement himself and had seen a long line of promising students fall victim to family tragedy, mental illness, physical illness and the like, compromising their ability to get the superior job they believed they were capable of tackling.

Still, they were cream, and they rose.

Closeup of yellow blooming daffodils on blurred green backgroundI have a friend, also from college, whose husband has ALS. Her honesty about the heartbreak and her integrity toward her family is a shining example of rising. Another college friend went through a series of tragedies, too much to detail here, and in her darkest moments she told me this just wasn’t what she expected out of life. Both women have persevered and are role models for me of how life will change you, one way or the other, and it’s up to you how you handle it.

Of course this isn’t a new thought and I’ve heard it, time and again. I’ve hoped that I’ve met life head on and come out ahead, even if my job is less than I expected, and I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose my car to an accident or whatever. But until now that’s just been hope.

I was discouraged the other day by disparaging words from yet another friend from college, someone who couched her thoughts in what I call God talk. Now, I’m a woman of faith, but not her kind of faith, which she believes is the only kind to have. She smiled while she spoke to me and basically questioned whether or not I had ever truly been a Christian.

Crying–yet also quite angry–I texted the friend who’d had the series of tragedies in her life. She amazed me. She told me I had been an example to her. Me? I was shocked. Now, I’ve been through my fair share (haven’t we all) but I never thought of myself as Cream That Rises. When I told her about that saying, she laughed and said, “I think we’re both cream.”

You just never know. I can tell you this, those who sit in judgment are not cream. 

Image Credits: Boy raising hands ©beerphotographer–stock.adobe.com; Daffodils ©Aul Zitzke–stock.adobe.com

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Friendship

The other day I had the distinct pleasure of watching two teenage girls connect. I already knew these were nice girls, and seeing the way they responded to each other, sharing a love of books and a particular type of learning, not to mention the immediate reaction to each other’s Instagram accounts, kind of made my heart sing.

Connections like that don’t happen every day.

Whether or not this leads to any sort of long-term friendship (and by long-term, I mean anywhere from the next few years to a lifetime) remains to be seen, and I may never know. But it was a happy reminder to me of two of my friendships that started 25 and 40 years ago, respectively, and remain strong to this day.

All three of us have moved multiple times and we’ve all faced life’s struggles, and even though neither friend lives near me now, we remain in contact and have learned that we’ve grown in similar ways. Our faith has changed in some of the details (but not the basics) and our politics have changed (thankfully). I’m proud to call them each my friend.

I have good friends locally today, but these are friendships that have evolved.  While I liked these friends from the beginning, there wasn’t the immediate connection I felt with the others. Is that because that sort of connection is so rare, or is it because I’m so much more cautious these days?

I don’t have an answer for that. I’m just grateful to have the friends I have and to know the people I know. I don’t make a lot of friends easily, but I endeavor to keep the ones I have.

Image credit: © Cienpies Design-stock.adobe.com