I believe in being as self-sufficient as possible.

Don’t get me wrong, I like having the right guy help me around the house. What’s more, the right guy can tease me a little about mistakes in my efforts at home improvement, as long as he doesn’t make me feel like a fool. There’s a difference.

Once upon a time I dated the wrong guy

for way too long. Despite oodles of proof to the contrary, he believed I was utterly incompetent when it came to things like changing a tire or replacing hardware on kitchen cupboards, and felt quite comfortable saying so.  Frankly, I think he would have preferred someone who didn’t know a hammer from a nail, but that’s not what he got. With me, anyway.

So no way was I going to ask for his help hanging my curtains. Even though in this case I was clueless about how it was done.

You see, I’d never heard of a level.

So instead I took a ruler, measured a reasonable amount above the window frame on either side and once in between, and marked each spot with a pencil. Then I took a strip of painter’s tape and stretched it across, so I’d have something I could check for a straight line.

Looked good to me. I took out my screwdriver and the screws that came with the curtain rod and went at it.

Now, I only had an old-fashioned manual screwdriver. It took FOREVER to get the task done. FOREVER.

On occasion I cheated and pounded the screw with a hammer just to get the thing moving.

Finally, it was ready. I slid the curtains onto the rod and placed the rod in the brackets.

You guessed it – crooked. I eyeballed how much and set out to adjust.

Again, FOREVER.

Still not right.

This went on for I don’t know how long,

until finally I had the whole thing looking perfect. Except, I had so many holes it looked like teeny mice had built a teeny mouse-hole condominium complex. That wouldn’t do.

Curtains! Victory!I knew about spackle, though, and Krylon paint. The curtains came down again, and I set out to fix the wall.

Well, I did a reasonable job with that. The curtains were hanging straight and looking good. Feeling almost smug, I made the mistake of watching some DIY show on the very subject of Mission Accomplished — and learned about anchors.

Oh Lord have mercy. Now I needed an electric screwdriver. And some sort of reward when this was done, because I was headed for the finish line, and I was going to finish a winner.

Finally, after getting this newly discovered aspect completed efficiently

— I did have an expert explain it to me, after all — it really looked good. Darn good. Good enough that when Mr. Wrong came over, his suspicious and close inspection didn’t reveal the truth. And certainly I didn’t.

Today, I have a plethora of electric screwdrivers, each designed for specific tasks l rarely perform. Perhaps more importantly, I have a level.

Now I just need to learn how to sew the curtains properly. Kidding, just kidding.

9 Comments on “I am not Rosie the Riveter…but I can hang curtains!

  1. I realized when I was a kid that I hung stuff on the same angle. For example, when I plastid my 13-year-old room with pictures and posters of Shaun Cassidy and cats; none of them were straight. But they were all at the exact same askew angle; big small odd shaped; all on that one angle. The result? The pictures looked straight and the wall crooked. I still hang stuff on that exact same angle.

    I learned from doing my cooking blog to always go to YouTube first even for stuff I think I know how to do. I learned easy ways to cut-up watermelon, how to seed a pomegranate and how to make a rain barrel.

    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When I was in my mid-twenties, I designed and built a house…hired someone to build it, rather. My mother came to visit and I was installing towel bars. She was so impressed that i had an electric drill and knew how to operate it. Well, she was even impressed that I knew how to operate my stereo! Then I married someone who thought we should do everything ourselves, from laying tile to installing toilets to doing electrical wiring. Needless to say, I learned a lot. Now that i’m in Mexico where labor prices are reasonable, however, I finally hire things done. They need the work and I’m improving the economy! Ha. http://judydykstrabrown.com/2015/08/08/night-fantasies-and-other-reading-pleasures/
    P.S. I have two levels!!! Don’t envy me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • In a way I have to thank this guy for being who he was because if he’d been kinder to me, I would have let him hang up the curtains and I never would have learned a valuable skill. Or had this topic for a blog post!

      Like

  3. Totally cracking up over here! I can’t tell you how many projects I start where I’m not sure what I’m doing and I’m all miss easy breezy it’ll be fine, until WHACK, and I have to back out, go back to the beginning, and start over.
    And isn’t it funny sometimes how the response we have to people telling us we can’t do something is to mentally say “f you” and just do it? Good on you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly. If he’d believed in me, I probably would have said, eh, you can do it (not that he would have anyway). But dammit, I was going to do it and it was going to look good! He actually did have the nerve to “critique” my curtains when he couldn’t find anything wrong with the way I managed hanging them! I almost hanged him!

      Liked by 1 person

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