I have long resented the idea that “everything happens for a reason.” But I do believe in looking for the good, the right, the valuable, no matter what your circumstance may be.

How can we tell the young boys in Afghanistan, pulled from their families to be made sex slaves for the military elite, that there is a reason for their torture and base treatment? To do so might seem to provide justification for this action. I cannot tell victims of war their pain is worthwhile. It is not for me to say.

But I can say good has sprung from the worst times of my life. I grow closer to achieving pride and self-worth. It is my own determination that brings this change, however, not the vile actions of others. They are rightly relegated to secondary, or lower, importance in my life.

In the years since I faced my foes, I evolved my thinking past the belief I was doomed to a lifetime of failure to understanding how my focus delivers results. Time and again I deal with people who tell me what to think, how to behave and even what kind of person I am. They do not determine my attitude.

My thinking is far from forceful or pushy. It’s an internal resolution to believe in good and accept the circumstances in my life that lead me to today. In accepting I am able to change some of it and graciously deal with the rest.

It is, at times, a daily exercise and a painful one. But the outcome is joy and contentment, and hope for the future. I can relax and enjoy life, not fret over what ill deed others may be concocting, or stew about what they’ve willfully done in the past.

In writing this, I do fear the idea I will be pushed again, by circumstances worse than before. I can’t dwell on that, however. I can only deal with what today brings me.

Image © Lightstock


9 Replies to “Determination”

  1. Stay strong, Belinda. Some people are so darn strong in their convictions….of others. There’s a quote along the lines of, “People only do to you what you allow them to do.” For me, it is easier to read than to put into action, but I try. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with you 100% about feeling resentful with that statement about things happening for a reason. For bereaved parents, it can be one of the most hurtful remarks said to them.
    It takes courage to make sense out of senseless things. I agree with that.
    I have a line in one of my songs similar to something you wrote: “Everything that I have gone through, let me to this place.”
    Well, here we are and we can celebrate all we’ve gone through. I certainly feel wiser and am proud to have found joy in life again. Wishing you only good things in 2018, Belinda!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I could never tell someone who lost a child it happened for a reason. I believe we all travel our own path to understanding, and while I pray for peace for bereaved parents, I cannot give it to them. But yes, celebrate our joy! And abundant blessings to you in 2018!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are very considerate and kind – I know you’d never say that. But In my correspondence with parents, they complain a lot about hearing that statement so often. No one can give another person peace. We can only pray and wish for it, as you stated. Looking forward to more of your writing in 2018, too!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I believe in everything happens for a reason – even it is hard for me to justify someone’s tragedy or even mine. Whatever my life brings I try to fight. I can grieve and feel sad for decades or I can become stronger and share my experience with others who may be in need to hear it. Such a lovely post!

    Liked by 1 person

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