Today when talking to my Mom, she commented that she’d been thinking about her late husband, my stepdad, all day. It bothered her, because what she was remembering were the tens of thousands of dollars he embezzled from the company he and a good friend had founded. She also mentioned tens of thousands of dollars she’d had herself that went missing. It all added up to one thing: she didn’t really know the man.
We all have secrets we take to the grave, and some will be revealed once we’re gone, whether we try to hide them or not. Some are amusing. My former roommate told me about a woman we both knew from church who’d tragically died in a bungled bungee jump. This woman was athletic, with a short, kind of manly haircut. We all thought she was gay, and perhaps she was. But under her bed and deep in her closet her roommate found dozens of romance novels of the bodice-ripping genre.
Other secrets are heart-wrenching. A good friend of mine found clues her brother left for her before he died of cancer, revealing that he was gay. This was a man who was conservative in his faith and his politics, which may have been why he stayed in the closet. He came out to a few gay colleagues, who comforted my friend after her loss. The thing that got to me when was she said she wondered if he’d loved someone and couldn’t–or wouldn’t–do anything about it. That broke my heart.
I have my secrets, but I don’t think any of them are bombshells that would shock friends and family after I’m gone. At least I hope not. I don’t want anybody close to me saying they didn’t really know me, at least, not in a negative way.
I think of secrets as something we keep hidden in the forest of our lives. Some are delightful, some are devious. Only we know the path to many of them. I have no words of wisdom here, only to say, your secrets are safe with me.
Image Credit: © PostReality Media–stock.adobe.com
My World With Words 
I like the image you selected for this post, and I think it is a perfect place for anyone who needs a home for their secrets. I had a couple of friends from my high school who passed away tragically at young ages, and it wasn’t until after their passing I learned they were gay. Not only did they not get to experience a full life, but what life they had must have been very complex and difficult.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It haunts you, doesn’t it? I’m glad at least that now it’s easier for people of all ages to come out and be their true selves. I say easier, because I know it’s still not easy for everyone.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s awful about your mom and your stepdad, Belinda. And sad, too. You would like to think you know the person you commit to spending your life with.
No words of wisdom from me, either.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. My mom is struggling with this now and it’s been 35 years since he died. These things stay with you, I guess.
LikeLike
I would like to think that any secret I have is pretty simple in nature. I think the thing that scares me about the secrets you’re describing is that they had to be a secret at all. I think of all the work the folks had to do to keep them a secret. The loss of time and energy. Yes, kind of sad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m with you there. I certainly hope I’m not wasting my time and energy keeping any big secrets. I can’t think of any, so there you go.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have a memoir releasing this fall that is full of secrets I hope will help others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I look forward to reading it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The picture really does frame it, though. Killed and eaten by the secrets we keep, unless we kick them into the fire.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! You’re absolutely right about what secrets can do.
LikeLiked by 1 person