Words Matter

I like to take a look at the daily prompts WordPress provides, and earlier this week this prompt caught my attention: “What is the last thing you learned?” The last thing? Don’t you mean latest thing? The last thing would imply I’d learned everything I was going to learn, and now I’m dead. A poor choice of words.

Words are powerful. As kids we learned the phrase “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Who were we kidding? Not our parents, who knew just how much words could hurt us. It probably pained my parents to see me trying to hide just how much the taunting and teasing wounded me.

To this day, I remember the boy I had a crush on in junior high telling one of my friends I was nice, but a little weird. It stings just to write about it. There’s a part of me that wants to see him again–fifty years later– and prove to him I’m not so weird. However, I think the pain would come flooding back and I’d wonder if I did prove such a thing, or if I just verified what he already believed to be true.

Fortunately, the flip side is true as well. I still remember a friend telling me she knew she could trust me to keep a secret, and I “got it” when it came to the need for privacy. That resonated with me for a couple of reasons. One, I prided myself on my ability to keep quiet when someone confided in me, and I was glad to be known for that trait. Two, there was someone else who understood that private matters are just that–private. That wasn’t something that was particularly respected in my family growing up, and it was difficult dealing with what I saw as betrayal when someone broke a confidence.

Words are symbols. They represent things in our life that we each interpret differently. I doubt that eighth-grade love interest of mine had any idea how much he could hurt me by calling me “weird.” It maybe didn’t have nearly the same negative connotation to him that it had to me. “Weird” can have many meanings, although overall it generally is a negative thing to call someone.

Of course, “geek” was not a nice thing to call someone back when I was in school. Things change. With the proliferation of computers and gadgets these days, calling someone a geek might be a term of affection.

The times may change the meaning of some words, but their overall power never changes. I know I’ve hurt some people with the words I’ve used, and my deepest apologies go out to them. Hopefully I’m more careful these days.

Image Credits: Words © MarekPhotoDesign–stock.adobe.com; Girl being shamed © Biscotto Design–stock.adobe.com; Girl being accepted © Biscotto Design–stock.adobe.com