Forgiveness vs. Permission

Years ago, I was a communications manager in the Benefits department of a major company. One of my favorite responsibilities was “translating” legalese into more commonly spoken language, as many of the employees we were directing our messages to had barely graduated from high school. If they’d even gotten that far in their education.

I had a good relationship with the attorney in that department, and she respected the work I did. One afternoon, the two of us were joined by three others in her office, and we were having a chat about a variety of topics, when this one came up: is it easier to ask forgiveness or permission? The four of them all agreed forgiveness was easier, and they laughed about the number of times they’d done just that on the job. I wasn’t so sure. Call me a goody two-shoes (and you wouldn’t be the first), but I was never one to just do what I wanted and then hope the higher-ups would smile benevolently and forgive.

About a week later, I was in a situation where I was faced with either completing the job the attorney wanted or working on one the VP of my department had asked me to do. I was in a quandary. The VP outranked the attorney, yet the attorney’s project had a tighter deadline. Neither one was in the office, but my manager was just getting ready to leave for the evening. I stopped her and explained my situation. She told me to work on the attorney’s project and she’d deal with the VP, if that should prove to be necessary. I was glad, because that was what my gut wanted me to do, but corporate politics don’t always agree with one’s gut. I had been on the verge of working on the VP’s project and asking forgiveness for letting the attorney’s work wait.

When I brought the attorney’s completed project to her the next day, I jokingly mentioned my discarded plan. The look on her face told me I’d done the right thing in completing her work first. I found out later that this was an incredibly important legal deadline, something she’d neglected to tell me initially.

Now, I believe in asking forgiveness from a forgiving God, but I am not tempted to ask for it from a mere human in situations like the one I just described. I ask permission first. At work, always. For that matter, I can’t really think of a situation where I wouldn’t, at work or otherwise.

Everyone operates by their own norm, by their own standards. But I believe we have to work together. Had the attorney let me know how critical this deadline was, I never would have pondered putting forgiveness ahead of permission. She knew the nature of my job meant I could be pulled in different directions, yet she withheld important information from me. I don’t think she did it deliberately. But she sure set herself up when she and others all agreed on the forgiveness track.

Communication is important, and it happens in so many different ways. Even without this experience, I know far better than to ask forgiveness rather than permission from my current manager, or anyone in management at my job, for that matter. It just isn’t done. It’s a good work environment, but we respect each other enough to ask permission first.

The bottom line? Don’t send mixed messages to your employees. In retrospect, I see this as a bigger problem at my former employer than I then realized. There were multiple situations that were confusing, and I wasn’t always able to ask advice. Management was asked to walk a tightrope of rules and regulations that were haphazardly enforced by the higher ups, including Human Resources (or the “People Division” as they called themselves). If there’s a rule worth communicating, make it a rule worth keeping.

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