Treasure the Simple, Value the Complex

As I was unpacking for my second year of dorm life, the wife of one of my professors stopped by and peeked in to see how I was doing. She brought a dozen chocolate chip cookies, which I no doubt quickly devoured, and looked around with a smile.

Cargo Overload
First,  it no longer fits in your car.

“I always get nostalgic when I see you kids unpack,” she said. “It reminds me of a time when life was simpler, and you could pack everything you own in the back of your car. Pretty soon you’ll start gathering necessities and the load will get bigger and bigger.” She paused.  “I miss the simple times.”

I wondered what load she was talking about, the furniture, books, dishes and clothes that filled her home, or the burdens of raising a family, managing a career and keeping the love alive in her marriage.

I’ve been working to clear out as much of what I own as I can, to keep that load as simple as possible. It’s a lot more practical that way, especially when you anticipate another move sometime in the future (I rent, so it’s inevitable). As for the rest of my life, I’m not sure if I’ve missed out by not having a few more complications.

I’ve never been married, never had children. The reasons I’ve stayed away from those commitments aren’t clear to me. Growing up, my parents had a troubled marriage, but plenty of people with a similar childhood have gone on to raise families of their own, some successful, some, not so much.

It gets lonely sometimes without the connections that come from having your own family. On the other hand, I have friendships that go back as far as those college days, including that professor and his wife. Even before social media made it easier, we kept in touch.

Every path has its moments of beauty as well as treacherous turns.

With my mental health issues (I have bipolar disorder, which is well-managed but ever present) a simple lifestyle seems to suit me better. I get overwhelmed easily, and need my space. Don’t get me wrong. In no way, shape or form am I telling others with the same disorder, or anything similar, to stay away from marriage and family. It may be your salvation.

No matter how we try, life isn’t simple, and we need others to be there in both trying times and moments of joy. I thankfully have the support I need in my life, and I’m well aware the loneliest women are those in unhappy marriages. It’s hard to reach out and admit your husband is failing you.

Every path has its moments of beauty as well as treacherous turns. The load gets bigger as we get older, but the simple can be found. Treasure the simple, value the complex.

Life is made up of both, and the balance we have in our lives is often what we’ve sought out, what we’re comfortable with, perhaps how we can be most successbigstock-little-girl-with-umbrella-in-t-86027189-convertedful. Yes, we need to evaluate from time to time if we should challenge ourselves and take on new ventures, whether they involve moving up or down the simple-to-complex scale.

Frankly, however, life has a way of doing that for us most of the time. We make our decisions according to our needs. So for now, I’m taking a deep breath, picking up a good book and having a simply restful evening.

Simple

Image Credits: (Moving “Van”)  © James Group Studios Inc — AdobeStock; (Girl in Rain) © lavitrei — Bigstock

Eight Classic Films You Should Know About

Here are eight films famous for either one line or one gesture–as well as being damn good movies.

Wondering if it’s a compliment to call someone “Eve Harrington?”  Where did the David Bowie “You Remind Me of A Babe” routine originate? And what does that little brush of the finger against the nose mean?

Yes, this is blatant cross-promotion for my classic movie blog, Classic for a Reason. I’ve reviewed seven of the eight films there, and have conveniently linked to the individual reviews (click on the title).

Here, in no particular order, are the chosen eight:

The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer–1947

“You remind me of a man…”

 

Shirley Temple turns in a delightful performance as the love-struck teenager captivated by playboy Cary Grant. Of course it’s her older sister who catches his eye, but she’s the judge who almost sent him to jail. Instead, he’s sentenced to date the moony-eyed girl, under the watchful supervision of big sister Myrna Loy.

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre–1948

“Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ badges!”

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Humphrey Bogart and Tim Holt team together with Walter Huston (not shown) to mine for gold, and uncover a lot more than precious metal.

I stayed away from this film for a long time because I thought it was a western or some such that I wouldn’t enjoy. It’s nominally a western, but at its core it is a hard look at human nature and what happens when we’re faced with the worst in ourselves. Humphrey Bogart was never better–admittedly, he played more admirable characters in other films, but that’s the point. Considered by many to be director John Huston’s best film, and that’s saying a lot.

All About Eve–1950

“Fasten your seatbelts–it’s going to be a bumpy night.”

Bette Davis, Anne Baxter All About Eve
Bette Davis, Anne Baxter–offscreen these two became lifelong friends, onscreen, well that’s a different story.

If you haven’t seen this one, it’s time to check it out. If Fred and Ginger got me hooked, Margo Channing reeled me in to the world of classic movies. All About Eve is witty, sharp, human, with some deliciously evil characters to boot. All four women in this film were nominated for an Academy Award, the only time in Oscar history that honor has gone to four women from the same movie.

And yes, they had seatbelts in 1950 — mostly in airplanes.

Grand Hotel–1932

“I want to be alone. I just want to be alone!”

You’ve heard the quote, heavy pseudo-Swedish accent and all. This is the film in which Garbo makes the statement that soon becomes identified with her personal life, fair or not.

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Greta Garbo and John Barrymore, before censors required all kisses to be closed mouth.

This was the first ensemble film to come from Hollywood, and remains one of the best. As a pre-code film it’s a lot racier than you might expect, but the blatant sexuality is still primarily in the looks, innuendo and what’s not said between a man and a woman. In addition to Garbo, the film stars John Barrymore (before his career-ending decline due to alcoholism) and Lionel Barrymore, delightful as always.

Sunset Boulevard–1950

“I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.”

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Gloria Swanson as Norma Desmond. The latter was known for proclaiming, “we said it with our eyes!” Yes, the eyes say it all.

Yeah, the old broad has lost it. Okay, old is relative…Gloria Swanson was 50 when this movie was made, but her film career was pretty much over. A star of silent films (and clips from one of them are shown in this movie), she wasn’t able to transition to the talkies. But she wasn’t the object of pity Norma Desmond became. This is a dark film and has achieved cult status, but is far more than this one scene. Complex, haunting and at moments really funny, Sunset Boulevard is a treat only writer/director Billy Wilder could deliver.

Swing Time–1936

“I did everything Fred did, except backwards and in high heels.”

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Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire — Magic! And imagine managing that dress while you’re dancing. It wasn’t just the high heels that made her part challenging.

Backwards, not so much, but the high heels almost did Ginger Rogers in while filming the final dance number, “Never Gonna Dance.” Her feet were bleeding and had to be bandaged, but she insisted on continuing until they got it right–after 47 takes. What took so long? Nearly the entire number is a single shot, with one camera, and Fred Astaire was a perfectionist. Which means 80 years later, we still can get lost in the romance and grace of an Astaire/Rogers dance number. (And yes, I know the quote isn’t directly tied to the movie.)

The Sting–1973

 

You know the gesture — a quick brush of forefinger across the nose, a sign of complicity, a smug pat-on-the-back for pulling one off. If you’re under 40, you might not know its origin. Until now, that is. It was a move made famous in this phenomenal film with its phenomenal stars, Paul Newman and Robert Redford. There’s a plethora of talent in this movie, and of all the films to win the Academy Award for Best Picture, this one has to rank in the top ten. Years later Redford would tell of the time he finally watched it — on the VCR, with his grandson–and he noted, “hey, that’s a really good movie.” Yep.

My Favorite Year–1982

“I’m not an actor–I’m a movie star!”

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Peter O’Toole, who, unlike his character, was both an actor and a movie star.

Funny, touching, a little ribald and wonderfully nostalgic, this is the story of Alan Swann and his one-time appearance on the King Kaiser show in 1954. Based on comedian Mel Brooks’ experience as a young writer on the Sid Caesar show, in particular, the week Errol Flynn appeared, it tells the tale of Benjy Stone and his efforts to keep this movie star sober, at least until he’s appeared live on television and completed his contractual obligation. Look for Lainie Kazan as Benjy’s mother. O’Toole was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actor, but lost to Ben Kingsley for his incredible portrayal of Gandhi.


Ten

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Happy #TRT – Tummy Rub Tuesday (Week 130)

Once again, Walter has made it on Tummy Rub Tuesday!!! The fame is starting to go to his furry little head!!! Especially since I tell him it’s an extremely prestigious award. Mimi, sadly, does not expose her tummy too often, so she likely won’t be found here. If you’re a cat lover and don’t already follow this site, check it out. It has everything from cute pictures of cats to heartwarming stories to practical advice from feline experts. Note: that’s Walter in their featured photo and third one down from the top.

A Lifetime Search

Always the question with job hunting, “what am I capable of doing, and what will I enjoy doing?” We’re told to pursue our passion, to do what we love, but there are times when we must simply seek a job we can do well and be content with for a time, maybe a long time, and perhaps find the greater satisfaction elsewhere.

If I had my choice, I’d write for a living. I’d find someone AdobeStock_109760634 [Converted]who needs a blog writer and work my heart out making theirs the finest blog of its kind. In fact, I’ve been seeking such work, and no doubt it exists, but finding it is another issue.

Still, there are other things I enjoy doing, and I do them well. I’m good at customer service, providing a pleasant experience for others, and I find satisfaction with that work. Again, finding the right job isn’t always easy. I’ve applied for a few positions I think I would enjoy with companies for whom I believe I’d be a good fit, and haven’t heard word boo from them after dropping off my application, even following up with a phone call.

There’s a danger with turning what we love into a career. If we find solace in that work, that peace of mind can be taken away by professional demands. I’ve had countless people over the years tell me I should turn my knitting hobby into a money-making venture, and while that sounds appealing, the reality is, I need my knitting to relax. I don’t need the pressures of customer expectations, marketing, budgeting and all the rest. I need the freedom that comes with a hobby.

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Are you sure this price tag is right?

The other reality is, knitting doesn’t lend itself well to making money. If I charged someone for the time and expertise it takes me to complete a project, they’d be a fool to pay it. A simple pair of slippers might be close to $100.

Most of us, however, have multiple skills, capabilities that can bring us pleasure and yes, profit.  We also have personality traits that both expand what we can do best and limit it. It can be a lifteime challenge finding all the possibilities, or even a good mix of some of them.

As we grow older, we change and learn new things about ourselves, we move to areas with different opportunities, we seek new challenges. It’s a search with multiple discoveries.

If you know of anyone looking for a blog writer…but look who I’m talking to! A group of capable writers. Still, it never hurts to put it out there….

Images © geosap — Fotolia

Capable

Choose Order

“If an infinite number of monkeys had an infinite number of typewriters, would one of them type ‘Hamlet’?”

Probably not. Getting monkeys to sit at a typewriter isn’t easy, and an infinite number of them would provide a proportionate number of distractions.

I found that question intriguing when it was first posed to me in high school, and now, I’m not sure of its significance. Are we being asked if everything in existence is that random? If so, I don’t believe it. That would be believing in chaos as the dominant force, and it’s clear to me there is order in the universe.

Order is natural, chaos, so often, is a choice. When there is no order, no reason, when we are left to the mercy of the whims of others, that is chaos, that is a hellish existence. War is like that, and prison can be, too. When humanity is removed from our lives, when the law of the day is different from sunrise to sunset, we cease to live in a reasoned world, where consequences match actions, where equality is valued, where lives matter.

handprints

We expect certain behaviors from certain people, and when people whose behavior has been selfish and uncharitable are put in positions in which they are expected to be wise and compassionate, chaos is certain to reign.

I pray for order in my world, for kindness and charity, for reason and safety.

I pray the monkeys aren’t in charge.


Image © Nito — Adobe Stock


Infinite