I’ve been wanting to sell my dining table for some time now, but it’s buried in the spare bedroom in my apartment. I had a plan to clean up that room and make it presentable for showing the table, but eventually I had to acknowledge that that plan simply wasn’t going to work. I have too much stored in there.
Now my plan is to find someone–or a couple of someones–to move the table out to the living room. It’ll take up a lot of room, but the living room is generally pretty well cleaned up and I can keep it that way.
This plan requires me to be dependent on the kindness of others, something that can be difficult for me to do. I like to take care of things myself, and I’ve done well with that so far in my life. But as I get older there are more and more things with which I need to find help. It isn’t always easy.
It’s time to take my cats into the vet for their annual exam. They hate the carriers, as most cats do, and are like poppin’ hoppies when you try to drop them in one. So I need help with that. Last year one of my friends graciously offered to not only help get them in the carriers, but she came along with me to the vet and sat with the one who wasn’t being examined. Since she feeds and cares for them when I’m away, they know her and trust her. I’m hoping she’ll be able to help again this year. But it’s hard to ask since she refuses to let me pay her for the vet trip.
I think it’s in our nature to want to be independent. I’ve been buying books for my mom, something she really appreciates. She needs large print books and the library at her assisted living facility doesn’t have many (except for the ones she donates when she’s through reading them). But it bothers her that I’m spending my money on her. I get that. I’d have a hard time with it, too. I tell her I’m glad to do it, but she still struggles with it.
I even hate placing maintenance requests for my apartment, although obviously if something needs to be fixed I need to ask for help. It’s part of the reason why I rent.
But I know others want to help, and I want to help my friends when I can. I have one friend who’s on a tight budget and I do what I can to help her, like giving her a ride if she needs it (she doesn’t drive). As much as it’s in our nature to do what we can on our own, it’s also in our nature to help. I need to remember that.
So I’ll ask for help moving that table. I need to sell it and moving it to the living room is the only way that’s going to happen. But I’ll look for ways to help others as well. Hopefully, there’s a balance there, but if there’s not, so be it.
Image Credits: Neighbors Helping © armaya–stock.adobe.com; Cluttered room © Good Studio–stock.adobe.com; Cat Carrier © olllikeballoon–stock.adobe.com; Small Car © Doloves–stock.adobe.com
My World With Words 
What a vulnerable and honest post this is, Belinda. I wish I lived nearby. Hopefully, you will get the help that you need. They do have easier cat carriers, but I know it’s still tough taking a cat to the vet. Hoping your friend will be able to go with you again.
It’s great that you’re there for your mom! I’m sure she appreciates everything you do. Especially the large print books.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know the large print books mean a lot to her. I wish you lived nearby as well, but not just for any help you could give. I just would like to meet face-to-face!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the way you wrote this because you so beautifully capture the full circle nature of giving and getting help. I’m not very good at asking for help either, Belinda.
Good luck with that dining room set!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! I’m very anxious to find a home for that table. A prayer or two would be appreciated if you’re inclined to pray. 😊
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m on it! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why is it so easier to help others than to ask for help ourselves? Belinda–not to be a voice of doom, but do you have someone who can be in your apartment with you if someone comes to purchase your dining set? I am sure Walter and Mimi would protect their mama, but I am not a fan of having a stranger in my home, especially if I am alone.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve thought about that. Right now I’m planning on talking to some local antique stores, so I’d feel safe if they came over since I’d know who they are.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s hard to ask for help, but it gets easier with practice. I have found that people love being asked because it makes them feel needed. Your table will be easier to photograph once it’s moved and I hope it sells quickly for you. 🧡
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I’m hoping it sells quickly, too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Enjoyed this post. It is a great reminder that it is okay to ask for help and to give it. We were not created as islands. God knew that when He created Eve for Adam. Finding balance is the key. Thank you for sharing this. Question. Do you think as we age the significance of independence magnifies?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know the answer to that very good question, but I’m guessing it does. It’s frightening to have to rely on others.
LikeLike
Indeed. I think that point may also be when you’ve been disappointed so many times. I just trust God for that ram in the bush.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A lovely post. People like giving help, as a general rule, so we shouldnt be afraid to ask for some, but its so hard to know if we are asking too much! As to the cat carriers, when we still had a cat, we regularly left it out as a place for her to take a nap, occasionally trading out bedding, toys, or hiding a treat there. She still sensed something was up when it was vet time, but we could usually get her inside before she quite realized it wasnt time for a nap or play! Good fortune!
Barbara
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for the suggestion about the carrier! I’ll give it a try. And thank you for the kind words about my post. I appreciate that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I get what you’re saying, Belinda. I think it’s the opposite, though. I think it’s in our nature to be communal, but we’ve been conditioned to be independent and not seek help. Then, this way of living kinda backfires as we age.
LikeLiked by 1 person