Tag: faith

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Choose Order

“If an infinite number of monkeys had an infinite number of typewriters, would one of them type ‘Hamlet’?”

Probably not. Getting monkeys to sit at a typewriter isn’t easy, and an infinite number of them would provide a proportionate number of distractions.

I found that question intriguing when it was first posed to me in high school, and now, I’m not sure of its significance. Are we being asked if everything in existence is that random? If so, I don’t believe it. That would be believing in chaos as the dominant force, and it’s clear to me there is order in the universe.

Order is natural, chaos, so often, is a choice. When there is no order, no reason, when we are left to the mercy of the whims of others, that is chaos, that is a hellish existence. War is like that, and prison can be, too. When humanity is removed from our lives, when the law of the day is different from sunrise to sunset, we cease to live in a reasoned world, where consequences match actions, where equality is valued, where lives matter.

handprints

We expect certain behaviors from certain people, and when people whose behavior has been selfish and uncharitable are put in positions in which they are expected to be wise and compassionate, chaos is certain to reign.

I pray for order in my world, for kindness and charity, for reason and safety.

I pray the monkeys aren’t in charge.

Image © Nito — Adobe Stock

Infinite

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My Literal Belief in Mythology

I was taught, in my high school Sunday School classes as well as by most of my professors at the Bible College I attended, that the Bible is literal. One of my professors, however, Mickey O. Day, proposed this thought: the Bible was written during a time when authors of religious material used mythology to describe God, or their gods. Why couldn’t the writers of the Bible have done the same?

Open book against grunge backgroundLet me describe what’s meant by mythology here: a story that tells of a quality of God in a manner that can be understood by human beings. Not unlike parables, the story may be pure imagination, but the characteristic of God that is described is most definitely not. He remains as powerful, omniscient, and glorious as ever. And ever.

We think of myths as being falsehoods, yet in its purest form, mythology is, in fact, truth. Now I don’t worship the gods of Greece or Rome, and I’m not in a position to debate their veracity. But thinking of some of the stories of the Old Testament as having been written in the literary form of mythology is intriguing to me, as well as more likely historically accurate.

I Beautiful Angel In Heavenbelieve in the literal birth, death and resurrection of Christ, by the way. I’m talking primarily Old Testament stories here, and not all of them.

It doesn’t diminish God in my eyes. If you struggle with this concept, I’m not saying what you believe is wrong. Frankly, I don’t know the truth, but I am secure in Whom I believe in.

Image Credits: (Angel) © Bigstock; (Book) © GraphicStock

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Wisdom and Roadblocks

I’ve been binge-watching the show Younger for the last few weeks, and in addition to being entertained by the program, I’m intrigued by the idea of going back in time and starting over, knowing now what I wish I knew then.

I remember my twenties as agony, my thirties as much greater fun. As my body calls out with daily new aches and pains, I long for the time when age wasn’t catching up with me. With what I’ve learned up to this point in my life, think of what I could do with all that health.

me-c-1987
Me at 27 — or 29 — doesn’t matter, it was a long time ago.

There are moments, somewhat fleeting, when I’d love to be 27 and have the full opportunity to start a new career, with a lifetime of growth in that field ahead of me. In my mind, I can picture myself as professional, successful, innovative, and admired for my deftness in cutting edge work. I have long hair and a stylish wardrobe, and if my lipstick wears off, I doesn’t dangerously age me.

As intriguing as the idea of a second chance may be, it discounts the opportunities available to me today. Yes, youth has its advantages and its appeal in the workplace. But for many, too many, it comes with limitations, arrogancy and insecurity.

Younger isn’t a going-back-in-time show, it’s a pretending-to-be-14-years-younger-than-you-really-are show. The reality is, I do, in fact, look younger than a lot of women my age. Not 14 years, but enough. It’s heredity, and I’m thankful for it. Still, not enough to pretend I actually am in my 40s, with all the opportunities that still exist for women of that generation. That’s because, at some point, in some way, I’d have to return to the angst of that decade. And as Younger shows us, you can’t escape who you are.

I’m best at being who I am today. At times confused, somewhat scared, yet more than anything else, optimistic. In recent years I have been blessed with greater wisdom and insight, and a more relaxed attitude toward life. I don’t worry as much about what others think, I see through the lies and pandering of popular media, and I’m better about standing up for myself. Far from perfect there, but I no longer fear the consequences of saying “you can’t treat me like that.”

There is a reason I am where I am today, and given the chance to take my life experience and place it in my resurrected 27-year-old body would fail the human experience somehow. I am meant to be taking risks, making friends, loving my family and defining my priorities in part by the age I am, with all the gifts and drawbacks that brings.

october-2016
Me today. Yes, I’d prefer it if wearing my hair long didn’t age me. But in the scheme of things, that ranks low on the happiness scale.

Authenticity and being true to oneself are such lofty terms. I don’t seek my authentic self. That self is already here. I seek integrity in my actions, reality coupled with creativity in my goals, and those precious moments when my cat curls up in my lap and purrs himself to sleep. I have my insecurities, but they don’t dominate my life like they used to do. I have my responsibilities, and I seek to meet them.

Authentically, honestly, I am 56 years old. That brings baggage and relief, wisdom and roadblocks. It is like any other age, with limitations, frustrations and opportunities. Life is a journey, one you are constantly having to re-navigate. Thankfully the tools get better with age. After all, I now have more wisdom and experience to break through those roadblocks.

Radical Authenticity

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Danger, There’s a Breakthrough Straight Ahead

I want change in my life. And I want it now.

Problem is, some of the changes I want don’t come that easily. I look at where I am today compared to where I was three years ago, and there are some remarkable differences. There are also, annoyingly, some things that have stayed the same, and I’m uncertain how to move forward with those.

I’ve written before I believe in the power of subtle changes, and I maintain that thought. Those are the changes that can lead to the opportunities for a flash of major turnover in your life, opportunities that don’t present themselves often, but when they do, it’s so important to be prepared.

Blue Sky

It’s also critical to be open to the pain involved sometimes with moving forward. I’m facing a moment like that right now, and I don’t know how to approach it. I don’t know how to measure the problem, and therefore how to address the solution. I’m asking for help, but I don’t know if I trust those who have offered to provide me with that assistance.

So I rely on prayer and wisdom from others. Asking myself what I would say to someone if they presented me with the same questions I’m asking of those who I believe can guide me.

And putting my confusion in writing, and leaving it behind.

 

Breakthrough

Photo Credit — © Bigstock.com

With thanks to Boz Scaggs for inspiring the title…and for a darn good song, too

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Peace, I Pray, For All

Yesterday I posted about my aunt’s death. I mentioned her daughter and granddaughter, who both preceded her in death. I want to remember them now with this picture taken a year before Zoë died in a car accident.

Sadly, Jenna was driving, although as far as I know, she was never faulted in the accident. Her best friend, Angel, also died in that crash. Angel was 25, and Zoë was four. Angel’s daughter, age five, survived and was raised by Angel’s father, who was only 41 when his only daughter died.

Jen died of an overdose four years ago. She was struggling with sobriety when she lost her daughter, and was never able to overcome her addiction.

It doesn’t take much to read the pain in this situation, and some of you have known your own tragic losses and have a blessed compassion. To all who suffer, I wish you peace here on earth.

I believe in an eternal and loving God, and a life everlasting in His presence. I pray they are living in that love now.

jen-and-zoe
Jen and Zo, December 24, 2000

Jennifer Content Moulton

October 12, 1977 – July 8, 2012

Rest in peace, Jenna, may you have found joy at last. I was always, always proud to call you my cousin.

Zoë Patricia Kloster

October 23, 1997 – December 2, 2001

Rest in peace, Zoë, the world was made brighter for the brief time we had you with us.