In my last apartment, I longed for a second bedroom, an office and sewing room, with some space set aside for storage. Now I have just that, and I’m hardly using it.
My living room has the perfect corner for one of my desks, so my laptop sits here most of the time. Downstairs (my new townhome is built on the side of a hill, so you enter on the second floor) are both the bedrooms. One, of course, is where I sleep, and the other is on its way to becoming the office/sewing room I imagined. On its very long way to that goal. Right now it’s a percolating mess.
How is it that the reality never meets the expectations of the dreams? This room is a wisp of a problem, barely worth mentioning, but larger things loom. The new job, the new home, the new spouse, all bring with them (whether they intend to or not) a belief that now things will be better, now my idle thoughts will become golden reality.
Sometimes, the failure of the new to bring fantasy to life dims any good it may bring into our lives. Over time we realize the limitations of others and other things, and hopefully come to appreciate and value the times when good outweighs bad.
Life is never perfect, and many of us are wary in those fleeting moments when it seems it could be so. It’s not a matter of being cynical or negative, of seeing the glass half-empty or any such thing. Rather, it’s an awareness of the reality of this world, and a sense of gratitude for what good we’ve been given and the grace to manage to bad.
As I write this, I feel a bit foolish for seeing any bad in my life, given the horrors so many are experiencing. I’m grateful for a comfortable home, friends I can trust, food on my table. I feel no fear when I leave my front door that danger is imminent.
I pray that certainty doesn’t leave my life.
My World With Words 
I am so glad you wrote this, Belinda. My kids used to say I was negative, but I told them I was not negative–just realistic. No point in sugar-coating anything or giving a false sense of secure. See things as they are. And by the way, I love the green dresser the TV is on.
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Thank you! I agree, there’s a difference between being negative and realistic. And I love the green dresser too. It’s the one piece of unfinished furniture I actually did a good job on.
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Yes, thank you for this post. Life is fleeting in the tiny moments that we don’t tend to think about. Life is never perfect either.
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You’re very honest with this post, Belinda. I completely understand what you wrote about. I’ve gone through periods in my life where I feel guilty for not “being more grateful.” That just adds pressure for me and I feel worse!
I was a bit confused when you mentioned “new spouse.” Did you recently get married? I wasn’t sure if you were speaking in a general term or if that was part of your new life. If so, I say congratulations on your new marriage. It would make sense that you were going through a lot of adjustment to be getting married later in life.
But regardless, wishing you only good things in the year ahead as you continue to adjust.
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No new spouse for me. I meant that only generally, what I’ve seen in other’s lives. I don’t believe we should ever feel guilty for our feelings. We feel what we feel. Right now, I’m feeling grateful. Overall, in moments when we’re not overcome with emotion or pain, we should gain perspective.
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Perfection is a matter of perception, Belinda. Shift your perception a little and see what happens! 😉 xoM
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If not for the clouds we wouldn’t appreciate the sunshine. That takes time to figure out but eventually a lot of us do. Living in the real world isn’t for everyone…and those folks are going to probably fare poorly until the reality of reality kicks in. We have so much to be thankful for…if not from balancing it against the bad we’ve personally experienced…then balance it against the less fortunate and disadvantaged. Those kitties look comfy right where they’re at. I’m sure they enjoy the certainty of being yours.
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They’re pretty content little critters…they could make a dash for it when I open the door, but instead just peer out with some curiousity, but no action.
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A wonderful and thoughtful post! Thank you! Particularly liked your thoughts on the gratitude for what we have…and chuckled over the caption for pic….”devoid of easy living”. Indeed! And thank you for dropping by my website.
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